sequins, strips and ruffles - around here, that's business formal

I caved and bought myself a pair of black sequined suspenders, figuring that I could never have too many sequins and sometimes my skirts do fall down. They’re not exactly what I was looking for (and I’m still short 4 pairs), but if I’m gonna dress up as anything I’m gonna do it my way – and my way includes sequins. Besides, I can wear them at the Expo 86 Party (to which you all must attend coz it’s going to be super fun). I assume I’ll have to wear them WITH something, which I will have to figure out soon – I try not to remember what I looked like in 1986, let alone revisit the era.

That’s all I got. It’s a dull Tuesday around these parts.

Ed said I should keep my Got Craft display under wraps until the show, but that is considerably less fun than showing everyone immediately.

So, a compromise: here is a piece of my new display!

fun with lego !

Fun!

I will not be at the following locations on Wednesday:

• At home nursing my celebratory/mourning hangover
• Army and Navy’s annual shoe sale
• Anywhere, caring about the Royal Wedding in the slightest

That is all.

It’s not that I don’t CARE about hockey, and I do want the Canucks to win so I can shake the theory that they’re the Team Abuse of the NHL (you won’t get that analogy unless you were a hardcore competitive gamer in the North American Quake 3 scene circa 2002), but .. y’know, I’m busy. Too busy to drop everything and worry myself drunk over hockey. Ed has informed me that we’ll be getting NHL Center Ice again next season, so I’m kind of really looking forward to the end of the playoffs so I can have a couple months of peace and also stop wearing Khabubulin‘s goalie mask during sex.

We leave for Cuba in 13 days, and I have not yet started packing. This is an extreme show of restraint on my part, as I take chronic early packing to a whole other level (I usually start two months before departure). That ends soon, though – my suitcase is hideous and ready to be stuffed, and I’ve already started hording portable toiletries to bring for cleanliness purposes. I remembered that solid shampoo bars from Lush are amazing, and I’ve got my other various lotions and ointments in smaller jars for travel time fun. I don’t plan on wearing pants the entire time we’re in Cuba, so that should help – pants take up a lot of room, but dresses and bathing suits are small and squishy. I have a bad habit of over-packing, so I should probably get my vacation wardrobe sorted out .. like, tonight. After I vote, I will pack. If I don’t pack now, I might forget everything and that would be horrible. I’m starting to panic about it, actually. I wonder if I could go home early to pack? Oh god.

I do have a question for you, internet: do we need shots before we leave? Ed and I have never vacationed tropically, so we’ve never had to get shots for various terrifying diseases such as:

• Yellow Fever
• Tetanus/Diphtheria/Aacellular pertussis
• Polio
• Hepatitii
• Typhoids
• (Love in the Time of) Cholera
• Meningococcal Meningitis (quadravalent & conjugate C)
• Japanese B Encephalitis
• Tick-borne Encephalitis
• Rabies
• Influenza (Flu)
• Measles/Mumps/Rubella
• Pneumococcals
• The Pox
• Shingles

AHH! All of those things sound horrible! Do I need to get needles to keep the nasty bugs away? Will I come home with a thousand tropical and communist diseases? Or should I get us to a clinic immediately and be pumped full of Super Soldier DNA in the hopes of keeping the foul toxins at bay?

Seriously, I’m kind of lost here. Advise me, internet!

The Friday and Saturday of my long weekend were fantastic, but Sunday is proving to be a royal pain in my ass.

I had a huge list of things I needed to do/find this weekend, and I left most of it to the last minute. This wasn’t for lack of trying, but all previous attempts were met with complete failure. I was confident that Sunday would be My Day (move over, Jebus) and I would knock all my objectives out of the park and into my plans, which included a well-deserved Mexican Scramble (with extra salsa) from Deacon’s Corner.

Did you know it is completely impossible to find suspenders in this town? And LEGO?

I need 5 pairs of suspenders for work. I didn’t think they would be difficult to find, but just in case I had a big list of places I could look. I started on Saturday morning with the first and surely last of my stops – Dressew. I had never been to Dressew before, but I was assured they would have all I needed and more.

I don’t know that I’ve ever been quite so overwhelmed by a single store before – my GOD there was a lot of stuff in there. I didn’t even begin to look at fabric; there was just too much else to see. I spent a goodly amount of time in there looking at everything, and found many things I didn’t even know I needed:

• A pair of slotted sunglasses for the Expo 86 party
• A black lace tutu
• A roll of ivory tulle to go with my silver and black tulle – I have grand (yet undefined) plans
• 45 feet of silver chain, which has all been used and now I need more
• Two $0.25 tape measures and a pin cushion shaped like a tomato
• Two large pieces of scrap leather in a gorgeous shade of spring green
• Three pieces of fabric ends (green glitter flowers and two Hello Kitty prints!)

All awesome stuff, and all completely unnecessary (except for the chain). I failed at suspenders, though – the only ones I could find were sequined, which would be perfect and awesome at any other time but not suited to my current needs. Disappointing and ultimately the first of my 5 suspender-related failures this weekend; I am without the ability to hold up my pants (or the pants of my co-workers) and completely vexed at the lack of suspenders in this stupid city. I did find two pairs at Value Village, but they were baby-sized and mysteriously stained – not what I was going for. I did manage to hit the suspender jackpot at Zellers, but I need 5 pairs for an 8-hour joke – $20/pair is way, way outside my budget. So close and yet so far!

Suspenders were only part of my weekend failure – the other is LEGO. I need to buy or borrow a LEGO base board for Got Craft on May 8th, but I can’t seem to find one anywhere. They’re all over the place online, but I don’t want to tempt fate and the shipping gods this close to the show – I need to source one locally. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Except stores don’t seem to sell LEGO pieces; just complete sets. Second-hand stores is a good idea, but someone out there is hording all the suspenders and LEGO pieces that come in and leaving none for anyone else. FIE on that person! He or she is a jerk.

The weekend wasn’t a total wash, though. I managed to make almost 50 pieces for Got Craft, get my hands on a black lace tutu, find Easter candy on sale, enjoy two gorgeous days of riding, have brunch with fun people AND pop my Dressew cherry. Add in Friday’s Top Secret Elopement and my plan to be naked until at least 8am tomorrow morning, and you’ve got a relatively satisfied (if somewhat frustrated) Kimli. Can’t complain, really (but I will anyway because goddamnit I need suspenders and LEGO).

ed's breakfast: the pancake bacon burrito (with syrup)

I had the prettiest Friday.

As far as Good Fridays go, this one has been a day to remember. A day off work, fantastic weather, and an afternoon spent with two beautiful people getting married – what more could I ask for?

The story isn’t mine to tell, but today Ed and I got to be witnesses at a top secret elopement for people we had just met. Everything was perfect, and it was so much fun to play photographer and witness all in one. I love the internet – it made something like this possible, and it was so cool to be a part of. Hooray!

The day is still young, so we’re off to ride. Ed is still getting used to his motorcycle and I’m not one to turn down a ride on a perfect sunny afternoon. I’m all warm and happy on the inside, there are 8L of Diet Coke in the fridge, and everything in my world is the way it should be and that is supremely satisfying.

LOVE ME

You know what is no good at all?

Realizing you have no hot water ..

.. AFTER you’ve already applied the hair dye.

I woke up early this morning to tackle the issue of my unruly 2″ long multi-coloured roots.  I meant to do it last night, but that just wasn’t going to happen – the couch was calling my name, and getting wet just seemed like such a hassle. I don’t particularly want to give up my Thursday night before a long weekend for grooming, but I have Top Secret Plans for Friday that requires me to look halfway decent – so dyeing my hair this morning seemed like a really good idea.

I’ve been dyeing my hair for so long that I can prep the goo in my sleep, which is basically what I did. Open the box, spread out the goods, undo the lid on the conditioner tube and stick it in the shower, twist off various tops, snap on the latex, and away we go. It’s a routine dye job; nothing special or fancy – I gooped myself up good and proper, removed the gloves, and went to wash my hands.

Gee, that water is pretty cold. Didn’t I turn on the hot water? I did, but that is not even slightly warm.

Uh oh.

I went into the kitchen and checked – same thing; the water coming out of the hot pipe was ice cold. SHIT. There was nothing I could do about it, so I just sat down and waited for the water to warm up. Maybe by the time my hair is done cooking the hot water will come back!

Or, you know, maybe not! 25 minutes later, the water was even COLDER. I needed to get my day started, so I did the only thing I could do – stick my head under the ice fucking cold stream and rinse all the dye out. I applied the conditioner to keep my locks silken and glossy, quickly washed the rest of me, then ran my head under again; swearing the whole time. COLD! SO COLD! It was utterly inhuman, and I’m still shivering. Never again will I attempt to do anything that requires a full body rinse without checking the temperature first. There was no reason to suspect we had no hot water, but now I don’t trust anyone. You’ve ruined me, hot water. I hope you’re happy.

I know it could have been worse – at least we had water at all. I can’t imagine what I’d have done if I was completely unable to rinse at all; I’d probably be bald by now. Scary. Okay, water. You’re forgiven – it could have been so much worse. Don’t cross me again, though – I am not beyond attempting to shower in Diet Coke.

I am somewhat self conscious today: because my allergies have been so bad, I opted to not wear eye makeup. I never leave the house without a full compliment of bright green shadows and powders, and I feel utterly naked without them. I think my eyes are too small for my face, so I attempt to hide them under layers of liner – backwards I know, but I think it helps even if I probably look like a clown. It makes me feel more put together, and without it I feel as though I look terrible and asleep. I wish I had the confidence to go outside without a full face of makeup, but I just don’t.

It doesn’t help that I’ve had people ask me today if I got new glasses, because I look different – oh god, they can tell! I look horrible with my beady little naked eyes! I should just wear sunglasses for the rest of the day. What? It’s sunny out!

i look wrong.

Yeah, I got nothing.

I am ripe with allergies and STDs (which are in actuality just additional allergies), and misery is streaming out of my eyes as a result. I miss being able to see. And breathe. And sleep.

The more I think about it, life in a bubble wouldn’t really be all that bad.

I will be interesting soon, I promise.

I didn’t realize just how stressed out I was about this, but I can finally breathe a sigh of relief and am feeling better than I have in a week.

I ordered some supplies for a fun new Got Graft project, but due to lousy communication on my part the items I need didn’t mail out with priority shipping like I (though I) requested. The stuff is coming from California which is normally not a big deal – but Canada Post and USPS have teamed up to turn my life a never-ending game of Waiting. Things shipped from the US are currently taking 28 days to reach me, meaning I was looking at a delivery date of May 9th for my pieces – and Got Craft is on May 8th.

It turns out all my worrying was for naught – my parts arrived TODAY, with plenty of time for me to create awesome. HOORAY! I am so relieved it’s comical. Now I can craft my heart out and make really cool things for Got Craft and hopefully people will want to buy them. I’ll still have Smuttons for sale, but I like to have additional crafty things available on the side. I’ve never seen the item I’m making at a local craft show before, so I hope they’ll be popular. I’m really excited about it! Yay for crafting!

Come see Miranda and I at Got Craft on Sunday May 8th, from 10 til 5! We’ll be the first stall on your right as soon as you walk into the main room, so come say hello and check out our awesome warez and porn. I’ll post another reminder closer to the date, and might do a small giveaway – mention the secret word for a free Smutton, or something – but I hope to see some friendly faces and I really, really hope you like my Sekret Kraft Project (and maybe want to buy it so I can afford to drink in Cuba)!

lunch is a delicious spleen on rye

I spent the entire weekend steeped in estrogen, and I really feel like I need some manliness to bring my testosterone levels back up to par. I’m not picky; I’ll take any kind of manly action so long as it’s thoroughly macho and smells like dirt and engine oil. We could have a belching contest, or look at power tools and grunt. Fist bumping is mandatory of course, and it would be nice if we talked about sports and the various women we’d allow to touch our junk. I need this, okay. I am far too in touch with my womanly ways.

It’s election time in Canada – get out and vote, damnit – and I hate seeing the landscape covered with election propaganda. It’s ugly and it never goes away in a timely manner – it seems like half the people who are so proud of publicly announcing their allegiance to the NDP or Conservatives or Communist Party of Canada forget about the signs as soon as the votes have been counted and they’re left to rot on the streets.

That being said, I kind of wish I had a lawn of my own so I could put up this sign I just made:

he won't go away unless you vote

I wonder if I could get away with hanging it off my balcony.