seattle adventuary

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Seattle, you are pretty:

pier 46

downtown times

on the waterfront

smith tower

the impossibly gorgeous carved ceiling of the chinese room at smith tower

my favourite building in seattle

More pictures over on the Flickrs.

We couldn’t have picked a better weekend to go Seattling. The weather was the nicest I have ever experienced in any January ever, and we spent the entire glorious day outside looking down on things for miles around. Our first stop was at Smith Tower, which turned out to be our favourite of the two: the lookout is on the 35th floor and you can GO OUTSIDE! Outside is amazing. It’s fenced off For Safety, but it was so gorgeous outside that we were giddy with fresh air and epic views the entire time. The inside of the lookout floor turned out to be a treat as well – it was set up as the “Chinese Floor”, and outfitted with a carved teak ceiling and fancy carved furniture like the Wishing Chair that I made Ed sit in. Legend has it that “any wishful unmarried woman who sits in it would be married within a year”, so we shall see if Ed was sufficiently wishful and womanly enough to be married soon. Here’s hoping! If that doesn’t work out for him he can go work for Uber, as we passed their HQ on the way down in the fancy brass elevator. They were hiring!

After the Smith Tower, we had lunch at the Pike Brewery and I bought an amazing hat. We wandered the Seattle Art Museum, Ed had an early mid-life crisis in the Harley Davidson store, and then we were off to the second tower of the day: the Sky View Observatory on the 73rd floor of Columbia Centre. Sky View was a lot more crowded than the first place, and while it offered some impressive views, it wasn’t really built with viewing in mind: the glass is thick, tinted, and highly reflective (making photography difficult), and you can’t go outside probably for safety reasons but that is dumb. I still managed to get some good shots thanks to Ed the Human Shield, but we definitely liked the Smith Tower better because OUTSIDE and INCREDIBLE CEILING and the awesome elevator operator and so much more.

All the amazing views of Seattle aside, I finally got to meet the new kittens at Doug and Ali’s:

pugsley!

wednesday!

THEY’RE SO SQUISHY!! The kittens were a little unsure of me but they were so fun to watch – and I got plenty of lovin’ from my boyfriend George anyway:

geoooooorge.

I am now obsessed with getting a squishy-faced kitty to quell my pug lust, but Ed isn’t going for it (gasp). What’s a girl to do, other than run away to London?

Some adventure done. More adventure needed. Up next: escaping from prison!

domestic as fuck

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I’m like Heloise all up in this bitch, with excellent ideas all over the place. I already shared the fridge tablet idea, but here are two more brilliant things you should be doing for maximum awesome:

Lazy Susans!

so lazy!

so lazy!

I don’t know who Susan was and why she was so damned lazy, but the appurtenance that carries her name is brilliant. Lazy Susans have been out of vogue for a number of years, but they’re incredibly useful. I’ve got a few in the house right now and I could find places to add a half dozen more to make with the easy access and kitschy fun: my bathroom counter, for example, has never been so organized and clean. There’s way more space on my counter, everything is easy to get at, and now my giant cats have a place to sit and yell at me while I pee. Everybody wins!

Susan isn’t just great at organizing makeup, though – I’ve been using one in my computer room for YEARS.

space for toys!

my desk is full of important business items

My secondary monitor sits lower than my iMac, so instead of elevating with phone books I use a Lazy Susan. The added genius comes from the extra surface for one or two small trinkets, and – best of all – the ability to adjust the direction of the monitor when needed to avoid glare or hide the fact I’m looking at porn. I’m sorry not sorry to take away one of the few remaining reasons people keep phone books around, but seriously this system is so much better.

My other Brilliant Advice is not an item, but a food: put bocconcini salad in everything. It’s SO GOOD! I add it to pasta sauces, bake it in casseroles, slather it on my body during sexy times, use it for homemade margherita pizza – basically, anywhere I would normally add cheese or tomatoes or basil. I use it so often that I buy containers of it at the deli to freeze, so it’s always on hand. If you love tomatoes and mozzarella and crazy delicious good times, try adding bocconcini salad to every damn thing ever. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS!

Those are all the good ideas you get for today – I’m off to Seattle for skyscrapers and sparkle castles.

behold the future

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Look! It’s the most expensive grocery list in the world!

so tech! much overkill!

so tech! much overkill!

I am guilty of rarely using my iPad and eating expired mayonnaise far too often, so I decided to Do Something About It. I bought a fridge mount for the iPad, installed some essential apps, and there you have it: a really big fridge magnet that can control all the lights in the house, remind me when we’re out of creamed corn, and probably one day gain sentience and kill us all.

Although I add 98% of the items to the grocery list, Ed is often sent out to play sherpa. Writing down embarrassing sitcom-esque items for him to pick up like tampons and pantyhose and gluten-free manwiches on paper is practically caveman, so instead Ed and I use an app called Avocado. It’s a “couples app” with a bunch of really cheesy features (send kisses to your boo! omg what), but it also has a shared calendar and lists: whatever I add shows up on his phone, and vice versa. It’s free to use (with a few limitations, or you can pay $20/year for a subscription) and I find myself keeping all our household lists there: things to pick up, places we want to go, where all the bodies are buried. Useful!

I think I will enjoy living here in the future. Everything is so delightfully wireless!

getting high

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Last weekend when Ed and I were at the Vancouver Lookout, I activated my membership. At any point in the next year, I can go up the tower and see awesome views of Vancouver like these:

vancouver harbour

east van

stanley park

I enjoyed looking down on the world from above so much that this weekend, I’m going to do it all over again .. in Seattle. Ed and I are heading to the Sparkle Castle for some fun and visits, and while we’re there I’ve decided we should go up some really tall buildings and look around. I bought us passes to the Smith Tower (35th floor with an open deck), and to the Sky View  Observatory (73rd floor) for weekend good times. The second tower is open past dusk, so there should be ample opportunity for some great night time photos. I am excite! And glad I don’t have a fear of heights!

I have three solid weekends of Adventure coming up (and the fourth weekend is earmarked for Hardcore Adventure Planning). I am happiest when I am outside experiencing things exactly like this, so I couldn’t be more pleased that things are happening. It will go a very long way in ejecting me from the funk I’ve been in for the past few months!

As an added bonus, here is a Nerd Totem Pole!

not to be confused with a shame pole

not to be confused with a shame pole

my only regret is that i have boneitis

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Sometimes I think I have this whole “adult” thing under control. Today, for example: I made it to work on time, appropriately dressed, and ready to tackle a full day of Important Business Things. I made lunch plans with a co-worker, shifted a few paradigms, and revolutionized outside the box – all hallmarks of being a Successful Grownup with a Real Job.

Then I reach into my pocket for my phone in a meeting, and pull out Psyduck.

psyduck uses zen headbutt!

psyduck uses zen headbutt!

I give up. If anyone needs me, I’ll be under my desk playing with my toys.

super convenience

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In our household, I manage the bills. Money comes into our account via paycheques or shady off-shore dealings and money laundering (so clean!), and once a month I log in and pay utility bills for the month. I don’t mind doing this, and it allows me to stay on top of our finances and also sleep at night without worrying that our internet is going to be turned off because someone who isn’t me has a laissez-faire attitude towards Big Business and due dates.

I recently was convinced that paying bills manually was so Sense and Sensibility, so in an attempt to be future-tastic I decided I would convert all our utilities to a pre-authorized withdrawal from our account so I could sit back and enjoy the finer things in life like fish eggs and dirt fungus fed to me by well-oiled men with excellent muscle definition and minimal clothing. The automatic payments were easy to set up with few exceptions (two accounts that only allow for the minimum payment or the entire balance, neither of which work for me), and I was ready to begin a life of techno-leisure.

.. until today, when I decided to check up on things to make sure everything was still ready to go. Oh, all the accounts are set up properly and there is no suspicious activity on anything (those brothel charges were mine), but I’m a closeted control freak: when I pay the bills, all the bills are paid by the 15th and I don’t have to think about it until the following month. On this brand new fangled “pre-auth” system, the payments come out of the account WHENEVER THEY DAMN WELL PLEASE which means I now have to actively keep track of when money needs to be available so things don’t get complicated. So, old system: 10 minutes of work a month. New system: spreadsheets, multiple account logins, actual budgeting, and stress. HOW IS THIS BETTER? The future SUCKS!

As advanced and space-age as the future is what with all the jetpacks and vacuum tubes and tiny hand computers, some things are still stuck in 1963 and are very slowly trying to catch up with the rest of the world. Unfortunately, until they take that huge leap to “completely useful” and not “hey, we’re trying”, some things should probably remain in the past. I suppose I should be glad that I don’t have to resort to paying things by cheque (Apple, I’m looking at you – seriously, what the fuck) or actually step foot into a meatspace bank (except on payday, because I get adorable paper cheques from work every two weeks-ish and my bank doesn’t have the “take a picture with your phone” thing). I’m still annoyed, though. My old system was so EASY and now I have charts. Not the good kind of charts (flow), either – the bad kind, with numbers and non-delicious pies.

Now I want pie. Can I afford pie? I think I have a pie spreadsheet.

gooooooooooooooooooal(s)

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I started 2013 with some pretty specific goals, and pretty much failed all of them spectacularly. My triumph is not that I got one or two things done, but that I did SO BADLY at accomplishing anything at all. This may be taking the “celebrate your failures” mantra a little too literally, but let’s hear it for all the things I foolishly thought I’d do last year:

While looking for my 2011/2012 goals post, I realized I didn’t actually write one: I was too stressed out about losing my job before NYE, and dealing with the aftermath of my cookie adventure in the days that followed. As a result, I completely forgot about my “what I did/what I want to do” post, which is probably for the best: it would have turned into a huge freakout about not having a job and my only goal would have been to fix that immediately. In April, I did just that – did it most spectacularly, actually – and the rest of the year was a great deal of fun, including my much-desired trip to London 2.0. Now that 2012 will draw to an official close in just under 9 hours as of this writing, what do I hope to accomplish in 2013?

  • MORE. ADVENTURE. 

Nope. Didn’t happen. In fact, 2013 was remarkable in that it was the least adventuresome year I’ve had in DECADES. I didn’t travel. I didn’t get arrested. I didn’t go anywhere new and exciting – I didn’t even go places that are old and exciting. As far as I can remember, nothing happened. I spent all of 2013 staring at a wall.

  • MORE. BONERS.

This also didn’t happen, but not for lack of trying. Frankly, I would have been happy with more boners OR more adventure, because more boners would be an adventure unto itself. The same can’t really be said in reverse – I mean, it could, but I can only think of a few examples .. actually, scratch that. My main example was “go see Puppetry of the Penis”, but that does not feature boners only flaccid stretchy dongs. Doesn’t count.

  • Continue to kick ass at my job.

Well, I’m still here. There were definitely moments last year where I thought “YEAH I ROCK WOOOOO GO TEAM AWESOME”, but I ended the year in a slump and I don’t feel as Xena as I have in the past. We’ve currently got a lot of downtime, and I’m always happier and more productive when there are Things Happening.

  • Get promoted.

This is something I actually did. I had originally set my sights on being promoted to Senior Tech Writer, but I actually made a bigger jump than that: I got promoted to a brand new team. My current title is “analyst” (complete with quotation marks because I don’t think it really fits what I do and I’m definitely not being paid “analyst” money). So, I guess I can cross this one out. Go me.

  • It would be pretty lofty of me to wish for time in London for a third year in a row (but oh how much do I want to be back in London – SO MUCH), so I will aim for something a little more this-continenty in 2013: it’s been way too long since I’ve been to Portland. Also, I would really like to do New York again for realz (without the crazy casting schedule and death in the family this time).

None of this happened. No London, no Portland, no New York. Our vacation plans were repeatedly scaled back until they were non-existent, which has a lot to do with my current mental state.

  • Seriously, more adventure. That means getting out of the house more; leaving my comfort zones. I want to see and do new things, meet and do new people, have excellent times that result in epic blog posts (or better yet, the dreaded bullet point cop-out because too much went on to paragraph it all up). Fun: I want to have it.

I had some fun last year, but fun is one of those things you can never get enough of. I’ll always want to have more fun. It gets harder as we all get older, because by 7pm we’re all “whoa it’s so late time for bed”, but I think we can squeeze more enjoyment out of every day activities if we try.

  • More scooting. The arrival of the Minibator meant I didn’t do nearly as much scooting this year as I have in years past, so 2013 will be a good time to fix that.

Didn’t happen. If anything, I did LESS scooting thanks to that incident with the police and the huge traffic ticket and all. Paranoia set in, and then Bad Things happened and I wasn’t able to retake my skills test, and then the year ended.

  • Um .. eat more veggies, I guess.

I guess this one happened – we eat enormous spinach salads pretty regularly, and nothing will ever get between me and delicious lovely tomatoes.

  • Be happy!

Don’t ask, don’t tell. For the most part, I was happy in 2013. Sometimes I was even giddy. However, the majority of the year (from June 28th onward) was really fucking shitty, and right now I am in a foul, foul mood which is colouring my review of 2013. Ask me when I’m in a better mood and 2013 will still have been terrible, but with some good parts here and there. At the moment, I want 2013 to die in a fire and also to smash some barrels or crates or furniture.

So, what about 2014?

  • Travel: I’m going to London. In June. This is a no longer up for debate – I’ll go by myself if I have to, but in June I’ll be 8 hours in the future and my Instagram feed will be delightful.
  • Riding: Even though Ed is a big dumb jerk who sucks, I am going to get my Class 6 license this year. If all goes according to plan, I’ll have it before summer, and then I will spend all non-London time on two wheels, going both near and far (hopefully far).
  • Kittens: I’m getting a kitten. I want a kitten RIGHT NOW (it will do wonders for this black mood I’m in), but I see the logic in waiting until After London. I’m looking to adopt a very specific kind of kitten, so we’ll see what happens – all of the adoption sites I look at don’t have the kitten for me, but should I find one, all bets of common sense are off.
  • Since I’ve conquered the world of promotions, I sure would love to conquer the world of getting a raise.

That’s really about it. It feels like I’m limiting my goals/wants to things that I know will happen so I won’t be disappointed, but maybe that’s just my Bad Mood Cynicism talking: things like fun and adventure and job satisfaction seem really far away right now. I have high hopes for this year and the future, but right now I’m stuck in a slump and can’t find a ladder, and things just keep being needlessly difficult and it’s awfully frustrating. I don’t even have a high point to end this post on. I hate doing the huge downer/first world problems/#fml thing, but goddamnit: stuff sucks. Especially today. I’m going to go home and crawl into bed and cry.

Tomorrow I will be positive no matter what, just to see if helps.