Carl’s Jr. has been open for like, a week, and already the girl at the counter a) knows my order of “a large pop please!” on sight and b) is giving me shit for not coming in every day (“where’ve you been! you haven’t come by in days!”).
I am a creature of habit.
Delicious, fizzy habit.
Mom doesn’t trust anyone: “I found dad’s birth certificate, but you have to be very careful what you do with it because he lied about his age and they might sue”
Mom makes a series of strange puns about her upcoming urologist appointment: “I’m going to the midsummer’s stream on Tuesday and I’ll just go with the flow”
Mom is nervous: “I’m nervous, but I remembered what daddy always said: ‘don’t be nervous'”
Mom is excellent at anatomy: “It’s common for women to have a bladder”
.. and excuses: “That’s why you have to drink a lot”
.. that moment when you’re flipping through a magazine while waiting to check out at the grocery store and you accidentally yourself in an article ..
me!
and there’s the rest of me!
I did an interview last November, about my blog and the Vancouver riots. I knew it was for the Reader’s Digest, but I didn’t know when or if the article would ever be published – in fact, I had forgotten all about it until tonight when I was looking at the checkout magazines in Safeway. I grabbed the latest RD and said to Ed “wouldn’t it be funny if this was the issue I’m in?”, thereby setting the stage for exact that – and lo, there I am. Accountability! I was once all about it!
As weird as the stumbling-upon-myself Safeway incident was, it wasn’t the first time that has happened. When we were still in Calgary, the exact same thing happened with an issue of PC Gamer. Flipped through the magazine, looked down, and whoa there I am. Neat!
I may have a small collection of magazines my name has appeared in:
me being an idiot about clans in a 2003 issue of PC Gamer
talking out my ass in the next issue of PC Gamer: back to back mentions! woo!
our wedding photographer used a picture of me in an ad for Wedding Bells magazine – 2003 was a good year for me and magazines
May 2006 issue of American Way, the inflight magazine of American Airlines (the article was about Fatal1ty; the author mentioned me covering his gameplay at CES ’06)
my uterus is SO ANGRY in a 2010 Chatelaine
I am knowledgable about gaming, other people’s gaming, vigilante justice, and my uterine rights! Interview me for all reasons!
Hee.
Any conversation that has to start out with “I promise I’m not an internet weirdo” is bound to be a good one, and yesterday’s was no exception.
I came across a tweet from some girl in Eugene Oregon asking the world for $8 so she could buy a ticket to last night’s show. I didn’t have $8, but I did have the internet .. so in a gush of somewhat sticky philanthropy, I bought her a ticket so she could go. No catch, save for one: she had to have an excellent time and cheer as loudly as she could (preferably in a Canadian accent) .. and if she happened across Andy at any point, say hi for me. She reported in after the show, and an excellent time was indeed had – mission accomplished!
I’m not a stranger to random happenings on the internet (although most of them have been at me as opposed to from me), so I was somewhat bemused at my sudden desire to be all charitable and shit. I thought about it a little as I basked in the afterglow of being nice, and I think I know why I did it (other than for the lulz):
So, yeah. I was an internet weirdo yesterday, but with the noblest of intentions: sharing the love, and keeping the good times going. Pay it forward and all that good stuff. More sweaty fun for everyone!
I am pleased at how it all went down.
Mom: Did you hear? ALL MEAT IS HORSE MEAT
me: Um, you mean the Ikea meatballs? I think that was only in Europe, mom.
Mom: No it’s everywhere! That’s why they’re pulling all the meat! I’m very picky about what I eat; I don’t trust all those places.
me: Which places?
Mom: The places with the horses. Make sure you don’t eat any meat! You never know what you’re going to get!
fin
—
I’m eating chicken for dinner. Chicken stuffed with horses.
my face after a conversation with my mother.
I do not know how I can possibly be hungry after last night, but I am awake and starving and could eat all of Denny’s all over again.
Amazing weekend. Don’t particularly want it to end or face the mountain of laundry slowly gaining sentience on my bedroom floor. I want more sweaty music, more laughing with friends, more tall men named Sheldon flirting with me, more accidental running into Steve, more Andy and his amazing band, more Seattle. I want it all .. but I need clean underwear, so it’s back to reality (for now).
I picked Stephanie up in Surrey on Thursday night after a series of unfortunate events that started with my (paycheque-sized) tax refund being held up by CRA because I didn’t file 6 years worth of empty GST/HST paperwork. After getting that sorted out (thanks, Government Darill), I hopped in the Minibator and .. got lost. See, I don’t go to Surrey. It’s absolutely a Vancouver Snob thing. Worse, every time I try to go to Surrey or Delta or Langley, I end up in New Westminster because all bridges are the Queensborough Bridge. I may aim for the other, correct bridges, but each time my brain says “yep, this is totally the bridge to the ‘burbs” and I then I find myself in Wal-Mart with three grubby children and a shopping cart full of off-brand Kraft Dinner and pull ups. I eventually got myself sorted out and made it to Surrey, which was as stereotypical as expected. One Steph later, we were on our way: it was time for Seattle.
The drive down was largely uneventful, if you do not consider apocalyptic weather to be an event. We drove through torrential rain, wind, scary dark freeway times and even time travel fog before coming through on the other side in one white knuckled piece. We were staying with Steph’s sister in Redmond, and we pulled into the belly of the Microsoft beast just before midnight after a harrowing ride.
Steph and I left the house the following morning with no game plan, so we headed to the EMP for the Art of Video Games exhibit. It was neat, but not really worth making a trip for (and that’s saying something, given how much I am in love with video games) .. but the day was saved by the OTHER exhibits at the EMP: the Hall of Nirvana, and the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING horror movie exhibit which you REALLY NEED TO GO SEE. Also, if you’ve never been, there’s a super cool science fiction exhibit (which both of us had seen before so we skipped it this time) that is totally worth seeing. They’re currently setting up the next exhibit on Fantasy and Myth, so if anyone wants to go on a mini road trip in April, museums will happen.
A late lunch at the always ridiculous and delicious Lunchbox Lab followed, and a very brief stop into Pike Place Market – the market is only open until 6pm, and we got there around 5:45. The market itself is nothing new, but we wanted to check out the flowers coz they’re always pretty, and also buy some delicious vinegar from Sotto Voce (which we managed to do with 2 minutes to spare). Wandering happened, and then .. we saw a giant ferris wheel down by the water. With two hours to kill until the show, we decided to go down and check it out: one does not simply see a giant lit up ferris wheel spinning merrily around without further investigation, so we piled back into the Mini and I used my Super Sense to find our way down to the waterfront.
We had stumbled upon the Seattle Great Wheel, all lit up for the opening of the Sounders season. Upon seeing that the seats were in enclosed pods, we decided we needed to go on a ride (we are adventuresome but prone to freezing, and the wheel is right on the water) – call it a consolation prize, because neither of us got to go on the London Eye on our various trips to Europe. Also, the $15 ticket price was a great deal easier to swallow than the £20 in London. The ride was super fun and we got a lot of pictures of Seattle at night from above – would totally recommend, especially if you go during off season because it’s much less busy and you’ll likely get a pod to your group instead of having to share, so then you can totally make out like we and the cute gay boys in the pod next to us did.
Finally, it was time to make our way to Neumos for the show: Astronautalis was opening for Why?, and I will always always drive to Seattle to see Astronautalis play. The venue was crowded as fuck (all ages show), but by pure chance Steph and I managed to get a great spot by the stage just time in for Andy’s set. Also, I poked him twice in the shoulder because I am smooth, and I got a hug. I win. We didn’t stay for the headliner because we were both tired and not feeling the massive crowd, so we made a graceful exit and drove off into the night (slowly, as Pike East is the Granville Street of Seattle and every single person between the ages of 21 and 30 were standing in line to get into a club).
Saturday was a bit rushed, because we had things to do and a deadline to meet back home. We ran important errands (wine, iTunes credit, looking for gnomes) and got out of town around 1pm. More terrible weather on the way back to Vancouver, all the rum at the duty free, and we were back home by 4:45: just enough time to power nap, power shower, and get ready to do it all over again. Steph enjoyed the show in Seattle, so she bought a ticket to come with Ed, Shan and I to see Astronautalis in Vancouver at the Biltmore where we met a coworker who bought my other ticket, and ran into No Fun Steve who was there to see Why?. Fun! I put stickers on my boobs, got right up at the stage for the set (much to the extreme annoyance of the fan girls who planted themselves at the stage for the entire duration of the evening so they could be front and center for Why? – cool but don’t give me dirty looks when I try to get up front for the act I want to see; I will gladly acquiesce my space to you when the act is done), bopped around and generally had myself a great fucking time, as always. Andy and his boys put on an amazing fucking show, and I absolutely adore dragging people out to Astronautalis shows with me because they always enjoy it and then I get to go say hi to the band and they sometimes remember me and yay! Also, shut up – I rarely fangirl out over things, so if I want to be a squealing ninny over this I’m totally allowed because they are my favourite ever, and I will always enthusiastically support the things I love in any way I can.
Also, didn’t accidentally see anyone pee this time. Bonus.
We stuck around for most of the Why? set, then took off before the Biltmore turned into a dance club (that happened the last time we were at the Fortune Sound Club and it was terrifying). The plan was to get tacos, but Chronic Tacos broke our hearts by being CLOSED (apparently for renovations?) so we did the next best thing: fucking DENNY’S, Y’ALL. We ordered ALL THE FOOD (there was so much food), ate it all, then went home: Steph was Rum Drunk and I was Tired Drunk, and we needed to be poured into our respective beds to begin the downward descent into reality and back to a life without daily rap shows and Moons Over our Hammies at midnight.
So much fun. A++++, would do again in a heartbeat. Am a bigger fan of Astronautalis and his band after every single show I see. Love my life, and all those in it.
Pictures coming sometime!
classiest ever.
I do not have any Photoshop skills I can speak of, but I’ve always been able to make minor changes to an image to remove pieces I don’t like (watermarks*, logos, inelegantly cropped leftovers). This skill comes in handy at work, where I often need to insert screenshots into my documentation. Often, the screenshots will come from another document and therefore is covered in notations made by another department – notations that do nothing but get in my way and make me swear not so much because they are annoying but because I really like to swear. I grab my screenshot, open it in whatever under-powered image editing software I’ve gotten my hands on, and manipulate all the bad pixels away. It’s not perfect, but it’s more than good enough for a document that no one will read. I get to be a wizard, the beauty of my documentation is maintained, and aren’t I just so clever!
.. it turns out that none of the minor but painstaking changes I’ve made over the last ten months were necessary. The notations I had gotten rid of weren’t actually part of the image, they were in the document – all I had to do was click on the picture and copy it to get a clear image with no stupid blue boxes.
Well, fuck.
Looks like my mom was wrong – hard work DID hurt me. What else has she lied about?! If I find out that praying to my dad isn’t going to get me all the things I deserve!
*: I know removing watermarks is bad, and I don’t do it from commercial or protected images. Just sayin’. Don’t hate.
:( :( :(
SO MEAN
It was left on this post in which I talked about how much I appreciate Vancouver and how I’m never ever leaving. This is ironic, because I spend most of my time daydreaming about leaving and moving to a different country altogether – but that isn’t the point, it’s that THIS WAS SOME REALLY MEAN SPAM.
:(
so much awesome.
In preparation for what I hope will be a busy year full of Good Times, I spent much of the last week Doing Things. Outside. With Other People. It’s fun and exhausting all at once, and I keep forgetting how much I like outside. I really ought to remember it more often.
On Wednesday, Ed and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium for After Hours. It was our first time at the Aquarium, and it was FUCKING AWESOME. I can’t believe we waited so long to check it out, but we both absolutely loved it to the point of buying a memberships so we can come back and hang out with the otters to our heart’s content. You’ll still never catch me at the Aquarium’s Seafood Nights – that’s too morbid even for me – but I plan on spending a lot of time exploring the Aquarium this summer, because scooting to Stanley Park is awesome and plus there are cool critters everywhere:
i bet i taste good.
graceful, yet creepy as fuck
.. and so on and so forth. I posted a lot over on my Instagrams, and will likely post a thousand more over the course of my membership. FUN! Also, the next After Hours (adults only so you can enjoy the Aquarium without kids around) is on June 6th. Y’all should go – I will be there!
Saturday was a big day for us, as we hit up not one but FOUR different places. First on the docket was an engagement party for Bonnie and Catherine, who are among my very favourite people ever. I’m so giddy that they’re getting married I could (and routinely do) fall over – they are adorable, and I love them all over. The theme of their party was Fancy Times; everyone needed to wear a tea gown and a fascinator or hat. As expected, Ed balked at wearing a gown but did wear a hat so we both looked very dapper (I may have been more ridiculous than dapper). Friends of theirs hosted the party in their gorgeous house, and it was a lovely afternoon with cupcakes and excellent people I do not see nearly enough and the couple of honour, Bonnie and Catherine.
We came home for a quick wardrobe change (more boobs were required), and picked up Josh and Shan for Adventures Parts 2-4. We stopped in at the Hot Pink art show to say hi to some people, meet some other people, and look at art – I even BOUGHT an art, and I am super excited to hang it in my Lady Cave. I really want to commission Bret to make me an art of my oranges – maybe that will be my birthday present to myself. Art is super!
After art (where I really should have stayed longer because I missed out on meeting a bunch of people I’ve been Twittering with forever), we went to St. Augustine’s to meet up with Cait and Dylan for food and beer. The place was packed beyond imagining and it took quite a while to get seated and even longer to get food, but it was well worth the wait (the burger I had was frickin’ amazing, with Perfect Bacon and all the delicious). We stumbled up the street afterward to go to the Royal Canadian Legion, which was equally hopping with an eclectic mix of people and really loud bands. We had hoped to play some darts, but the boards were being hogged by some nasty hipsters who were not taught how to share (or play darts). Cait almost started a rumble, but we eventually gave up on Operation Darts despite the incredibly friendly Legion regulars who helped us find a table and got us seats. It was actually really cool in there, and people were loving the band. My parents used to frequent the Legion in Victoria almost every weekend for dancing, before my dad was unable to – I could almost picture my mom and dad in there, tearing it up (and complaining about how loud the music was).
Then, home. In between all the Outside, I did quite a bit of trouble-causing in various places online, and was giggling all night at the aftermath of my outrage and pot-stirring in various locations.
Today there shall be nothing. I slept in, I’m writing, and I’ll probably watch the Oscars. The week ahead holds the strata AGM (not exciting), and a trip to Seattle (very exciting) with Steph – we’re going to the Art of Video Games exhibit at EMP followed by an Astronautalis show, then coming home on Saturday so I can go to another Astronautalis show the next night.
ADVENTURE!
Now, to do additional research on obtaining a UK Ancestry Visa! It’s wishful thinking at the moment, but who knows what the future holds?
delicious juice dot com 