Tag Archives: vancouver

bad mood bear

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I am in a terrible mood. There isn’t any particular reason for it; I just want to crawl back into bed and shut the world out for a day or so. I’ve had trouble sleeping recently, and last night I had a rare fit of angst about my ridiculous boobs, and I’m not in London, but those things don’t add up to the black cloud over my head. I think I’m just grumpy. Very, very grumpy.

So, to distract from my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mood, here are some things that have genuinely entertained me over the last week; described with adjectives I do not normally use:

  • I loved this article about a couple in New York who, over 50 years, amassed a priceless art collection for the sheer love of it. I don’t care about art, art collections, couples from New York, or most things, but the article was just .. lovely. It’s worth a read, even if you are heartless and jaded like I am – something about the story of the Vogels made my insides all warm. Their names are Dorothy and Herb, for crying out loud – how can you not love them? There’s something amazing about doing something purely out of love, and the wonderful legacy they’re leaving the art world is so sweet.
  • Heavenly Nostrils is a syndicated comic strip about a girl and her unicorn best friend. It is impossibly endearing, and it’s easy to be drawn into Phoebe’s world. Start from the first strip and catch up – it is fun and cute and not at all hokey, which cannot be said about most syndicated comics.
  • This article about whipped honey is great. The author really, really likes honey and cheese, and – very likely unintentionally – describes her whipped honey experience in near-pornographic terms. You will never think of pepper grinders in the same way again.
  • Tonight I am gonna see some sharks. Stay tuned to my various internets for the inevitable eerie yet gorgeous pictures of jellyfish! I’ve never been to the Vancouver Aquarium, so I am excited.

That’s all I’ve got. Taking my bad mood for lunch now.

i still wish i was in london

 

close to home

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For the last 12+ hours, a “police incident” has been going on around my condo building. The street and alley are blocked off, and there are cops everywhere. Normally this would be cause for concern by itself, but I’m doing just a little bit of extra freaking out: both Ed and I missed being witnesses/directly involved in the incident by mere minutes/a really bad cold.

Details are still rolling in, but it sounds as though someone was roaming up our street breaking windows and throwing bottles around. He was armed with a knife, and was at our building door while a strata meeting – that I was supposed to be at, but had skipped because I’m sick – was happening in the lobby. Something happened, and the guy broke one of the lobby windows (possibly while trying to get in). The strata people went to the elevator for safety while they called the cops.

While this was happening, Ed was being a nice husband and getting me a sundae from McDonald’s to soothe my angry throat. He took the back stairs to the parking lot, got my sundae without incident, and made his way home again via the front stairs; passing one of our neighbours on way. While he was in the stairwell, the lobby window was broken and the strata went into hiding while Knife Guy continued down the street towards the McDonald’s, where he was eventually shot and killed by police.

I was supposed to be at that strata meeting, but because I wasn’t, Ed was out getting me ice cream and somehow JUST missed being involved or a witness in a bizarre dance of fate – while he was on one side of the building, Knife Guy was on the other. Those positions were reversed a minute later as Ed made his way home, and Knife Guy met his unfortunate end. Neither of us knew the full extent of how close we came to Actual, Serious Danger until this morning when all the pieces started falling into place and the timing of the incidents solidified – it was really, really close. Scary close. Too close.

The strata was moved off-site for questioning, and didn’t return until 2am. Police officers canvased our building, asking if anyone had seen or heard anything. The street and alley are still closed, as is the McDonald’s. All night we listened to people try to drive around the roadblock, and get yelled at by the police asking what the fuck they thought they were doing (the answer was “I want to go to McDonald’s” every time). Windows are boarded up, there’s real yellow police tape everywhere (so similar to the Halloween tape surrounding my cubicle, but so much more real), and things seem much quieter than usual (although I’m normally not home at this time of the day, so what do I know).

I’m working from home today, going with common sense instead of the preferred opposite. I don’t really want to be here – I have a lot of work to do and there are packages waiting for me at the office full of EXCITING THINGS – but my head is kind of floating (when I close my eyes the world lurches), I can’t breathe very well, and I basically look and feel like hell. I got sent home from work yesterday (twice), so I guess it’s good that I’m here right now – I have cats, Diet Coke, computers, armed guards outside my door, and no clothes on. Today I will sit in the dark, write a dozen wiki articles, and concentrate on getting better so I can attend the Halloween fun at the office tomorrow (as well as open the EXCITING THINGS piling up on my desk). I will also be grateful that neither Ed nor I were involved in last night’s craziness, regardless of how close the calls were. And I will think twice about ever asking for ice cream again, because it evidently comes with bad mojo.

Too many fatal going-ons. It sort of makes me miss the relative sanity of drum circles and Dumpster Olympics.

new weekly feature: save my marriage

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Starting today, Delicious Juice Dot Com is delighted to present you, beloved reader, a chance to Make a Difference and save my marriage in one fell swoop.

Orphan Animal Pics is a local organization started by Lisa Brideau. The concept is as simple as it is brilliant: volunteer photographers take gorgeous shots of gorgeous animals desperately in need of foster homes or adoption. Each week I will profile several animals that I had to be physically restrained from going out and adopting this very second, in the hopes that someone – maybe YOU – has room enough in heart and home to give these beautiful creatures the love and comfort they so sorely need. As an added bonus, by adopting or fostering these animals, you will keep me from doing so and thereby save my marriage. I would adopt every animal everywhere if I could, but then Ed would divorce me. Most of the time, that would be a bad idea. According to the media, if Ed divorced me I would never find love again – so keep me from becoming a spinster cat lady by adopting these beauties:

Shyla and Jonathon:

photo by cindy hughes

When I saw Shyla’s picture, my jaw dropped open and I emailed Lisa to ask HOW this cat could possibly not have a home. Shyla is a bengal cat, which means you would have your very own LEOPARD in your household (which would automatically make you the coolest person in your neighbourhood).

Shyla and Jonathon are a bonded pair, and must be adopted together. They’re both very shy – Jonathon, who is apparently even prettier than his sister, was too shy to come out for pictures – and would do best in a household without dogs or children. They need a patient, loving home to shower them with affection and tell them daily how pretty they both are, because LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. I would love to give Shyla and Jonathon a home and own a pair of leopards, but Ed – now in his 15th year of cruelly denying me things to love – said no.

Both Shyla and Jonathon are currently at Katie’s Place Shelter in Maple Ridge. Please consider giving them a home!

Azlan (wardrobe and creepy Bible allusions not included):

photo by ben johnson

Azlan has had a very rough life and deserves to live in comfort; being catered to and showered with love. He was found living behind a seedy bar on Main Street – the kind your mother told you never to go near – and had to have an eye removed due to a nasty infection. He’s healed up nicely though, and doesn’t seem to miss depth perception – perhaps you could be the one to make him a little kitty eyepatch and he would be an AWESOME PIRATE CAT! Just think of the adventures you could have!

Azlan takes oral medication for his hyperthyroid, and is doing very well with it. He’s very affectionate, and loves people – he’s okay around calm dogs, but would probably be happier in a home without other cats.

He’s currently at HomeFinders in Vancouver and is hoping you can provide him with a permanent home. HomeFinders would also consider a long-term foster, at which point they would continue to support his veterinary needs .. but I KNOW someone out there has a soft spot for this big fluffy bar star lion. The one latte a week you’d have to give up would be in exchange for a lifetime of love, and even the most hardened among us has to admit that is a pretty damn good deal.

I desperately want to adopt all these cats, so please save my marriage by getting to them before I can. Also, check out Orphan Animal Pics for other gorgeous creatures in need of homes that aren’t mine – and if you’re a photographer wanting to hang out with animals for a few hours, please contact Lisa directly! She also guest-posted over at the Lotus Events blog, showing off even more lovely kitties – take a look.

KITTIES!

a sucker for free

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I got a present today!

The Vancouver 2010 website was offering personalized journals for free, so I signed up – then promptly cancelled my order when I realized “free” actually meant “pay $18 for shipping”. A month or so ago an email went out saying that the shipping rates were vastly inflated in error, so please come back and get your free journal. I decided to give them a second chance, and went back to collect my free book of memories. Shipping was around $10 this time, which was more reasonable – so I signed up and forgot all about it.

The idea was pretty neat – you could upload your own pictures to the site which would then be printed into your book. I was at work and didn’t have time to put a lot of thought into it, so I uploaded one picture for the cover, added my name to it, and called it good.

Receptionist 3.0 brought a mystery package to my desk this morning, and lo! My Olympic Journal! It’s actually pretty neat, and I love the picture I used for the cover:

i believe in the power of mukmuk and i

The book is obviously meant for little kids, as it suggests things to take pictures of and provides writing area for your own stories and memories of the games – but I am a sucker for all things notebook, and this one is pretty spiffy. It’s got some great pictures of Vancouver in it, and I will endeavor to fill it with hastily written grocery lists and future blog post ideas throughout the rest of 2010.

You still might be able to get your own journal for “free” – here’s the website; the code I used was either “journal2010” or “shipping2010”. Go nuts*!

*: It is not advisable to put a picture of your nuts on your journal cover to be printed by unsuspecting people in Ontario

In other news, I’m thinking about dropping my last name altogether and just going by Kimli – I’m totally famous like Madonna and Cher; I could pull it off.

stop smashing my mustard

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I had planned on writing a post about all the outrageous things being said about Canada now that the games are over, but I just don’t have the heart to. How would calling attention to the attention-seeking Texans comparing Vancouver’s Games to Nazi Germany help anyone? The comments are just making me sad, and that’s never been the intent of my blog. Let the Russians accuse Team Canada of being on drugs. Let the Straight continually bitch about the police presence and liquor store shut downs. I’m so tired of all the negativity – doesn’t anyone simply have FUN anymore? What happened to living in the moment? Why does everything have to be political or angry or just plain whiny? The lights in BC Place were still on when the antagonistic comments started up again: the games are done, maybe now the city can start curing cancer/feeding orphans/returning stolen land/repressing my right to break shit when I don’t get my way. Doesn’t all that righteous indignation make you tired? Or is everything in your life one big struggle against The Man?

It must be a horrible existence; being completely unable to let yourself just get caught up in the moment and feel a pure and simple joy.

I feel sorry for those people.

Also, seig hail.

for the glory of mother canada

one last medal ceremony

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The Olympics are done, and they were so much more fun than I thought possible. I’m not ready for the party to be over, so I decided the only appropriate thing to do would be to award medals to my Favourite Moments of the Games:

the little engine that could

The 3rd place Bronze Medal goes to: the afternoon of Friday the 19th. I took the afternoon off to hang out with Shan, and by the end of the day we were joined by our entire motley crew. Gorgeous weather, spectacular scenery, and a city-wide party – it was brilliant. A fantastic day from start to finish made all the better by Jon Montgomery’s amazing Skeleton win and subsequent celebrations. The Inukshuk Beach along False Creek should still be up – take a walk on the next beautiful day and enjoy some rock, Olympic style.

*~*~*~*

how can you be sad at being second when you're second best in the WORLD?!

The 2nd place Silver Medal goes to: TWITTER! The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics were declared a Social Media event, and we shone just as brightly as the athletes. Sharing memorable moments over the last 17 days with people all around the world was phenominal and most of the time, hilarious. I don’t remember when I’ve had so much fun – watching the opening and closing ceremonies, sharing quips with strangers and laughing so hard at some of the jokes made I couldn’t catch my breath. The #van2010 tag added a whole new dimension to the Olympic experience, and for me was a defining moment of Web 3.0 (or whatever number we’re on now). I can’t imagine the Games without Twitter keeping me entertained, informed, enraged and aroused. The True North Media House (#tnmh) brain trust had an ambitious plan to cover the Olympics and show the world and the IOC what we’re all about, and it was pulled off with spectacular successes and a great deal of fun.

Twitter made the regular act of watching TV fun again. For example, I don’t give a hoot flying or otherwise about next Sunday’s Oscars – but I’m absolutely planning on watching it along with a few thousand of my closest friends.

*~*~*~*

best of the best of the best (aka: us)

In 1st place, your new Gold Medal Champion: The CTV Montage Maker!

No matter the moment – no matter the action – no matter the time restraints – the CTV Montage Maker was there to help you remember what you saw just moments before, only this time in slow motion and set to stirring music. From the Opening Ceremonies to every last straining muscle and smiling painted face, the CTV Montage Maker could be counted upon to replay the action for you immediately after it just happened in real time. For the last 17 days, we’ve watched his or her work and marveled at how quickly they were able to create a stunning and often overlooked piece of art; a collage of memories that will last a lifetime.

We salute you, CTV Montage Maker: if not for your tireless efforts and hard work, the best parts of the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics would be lost at the next commercial break; replaced by people singing about Ontario and emotionally manipulative commercials about coffee. Never the main attraction but always the highlight reel, your work will help this multitasking mile-a-minute MTV generation keep a flicker of a vague memory in the forefront of our scattered minds.

when you just can't settle for second place, you make your own rules

when you just can't settle for second place, you make your own rules

*~*~*~*

We’re not quite done – there’s one more medal to award. In honour of Russia’s Evgeni Plushenko, who won a Silver Medal (or lost the Gold to Evan Lysacek, however you want to see it) in Men’s Figure Skating and was so disgusted at the result he (or whoever manages his website) created a Platinum Medal for himself and declared him the one true champion of Figure Skating of all time, we are pleased to announce a fourth winner: The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics Closing Ceremonies!

A mime, fixing the 4th pillar, so Catriona Le May Doan could finally light her share of the flame! William Shatner talking about sex in canoes! Michael J Fox! Inflatable beavers and floating meese! Huge table hockey! Royal Canadian Mounted Floozies! Right up until they started the musical guests, every part of the Closing Ceremonies was hilarious and fantastic. More than once I could have sworn I was high on the drugs, and most of Twitter agreed. While I highly doubt the ceremony had the noble quality the IOC adopts as the norm, it was bizarre and uniquely Canadian – we are known almost as much for our self-depreciating humour as we are for the cliches, and I loved it. Let the naysayers neigh – Canada knows how to have fun, and while we may never outshine Beijing’s vision or live up to Britain’s expectations, we threw one HELL of a party and the entire world was there to watch us have our poutine and eat it too.

I am spectacularly proud of my city, and I think we should do this every year.

pins for (almost) everyone

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For some reason I was convinced that Wednesday was the 23rd, not Tuesday – even though I specifically said multiple times that I’d draw the pin winners on Tuesday the 23rd. I am not so smart. Cute as all hell, but definitely not smart.

So! Without further ado, here are the winners of the Delicious Juice Dot Com Pin and Toy Giveaway:

  • Calgary Ed gets the PETA pin and a ski jumping Quatchi
  • Saxfire gets an Apple pin set and a snowboarding Miga
  • Lisa S gets an Apple pin set and an alpine skiing Sumi

.. I feel bad for being late with the draw (even though I’m fairly certain no one cares), so I’ll go two further:

  • Jenmen gets a Delicious Juice Dot Com pin set and the Yahoo! “I’m a Fan” Olympic pin
  • and so does Michelle M!

I will email all the winners to collect contact information, and get your prizes sent out this week!

Hooray for free stuff! Thanks for playing along!

oh dear.

represent

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My accreditation came a little late – it took me longer than anticipated to work up the $1.12 laminating cost – but I am finally ready to rock the world on behalf of the True North Media House:

social reporter and number one mascot reporting for duty

I’d like to see Quatchi, Miga and Sumi try THIS!

free lobster; boob

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Against my usual judgment (the one that keeps me at home most nights), I decided to suck up my fear of people and go to the Yahoo/Flickr party in Yaletown this evening.

It turned out to be a night full of new experiences, in more ways than one:

  • I crashed my first party (I wasn’t officially on the guestlist because I had marked myself as a “maybe” – luckily for me, GusF came up to the door while I was standing around looking lost, and told the bouncers “Oh that’s Kimli, everyone knows her!” and I got in)
  • I was handed various kinds of lobster and pressed to take more, but seriously I was all full up of lobster
  • I got to feel up Catherine’s boob
  • I felt all important and social media-y, being at a fancy party with people far more important in the scene than I
  • I had fun!
  • (not at all connected to the items above) I won a Flight Control t-shirt from Firemint!

I’m glad I decided to go to the party – it was so much fun! I hadn’t been to Yaletown yet during the Olympics and was surprised at how alive it was – as I was leaving the party, the Coke truck came rolling through and I ended up with some free Coke Zero to go along with all my neat Flickr swag. The Olympic fun just keeps on happening! Hopefully I’ll find another party or two to crash before it’s all over; I could really get used to free lobster and also Catherine’s boobs.

parties: fun!

everyone is entitled to fun

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First they were up in arms because the Olympics were coming.

Then they were up in arms because the Olympics were here.

Even though they don’t even care, they’re up in arms because of a fence.

And now? Well, now they’re up in arms because you can’t get stinking drunk and act like a pathetic piece of trash in public.

People are freaking the fuck out because the city closed all liquor stores early on Friday and Saturday nights, and are enforcing the “no drinking in public” rule; calling Vancouver the “No Fun City” and other clever names. Never mind that the entire month of February is one massive party for everyone even if you don’t set foot into a single sporting venue; never mind that there are free concerts and activities every single day; never mind that the weather has been spectacular and spirits are higher than I’ve ever seen them. Let’s forget all about that, and instead focus on the fact that we can’t get DRUNK and therefore what’s the point of even HAVING an Olympics.

Did I miss the press conference where being drunk was a mandatory precursor to having fun?

LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE. If you can’t have fun without alcohol, then you’ve got bigger problems to address. Maybe some of us would rather go to an event and not have to worry about facing a drunken mob of vomiting, ridiculous assholes. Maybe some of us would rather not see you pissing on buildings or in the middle of the street. Maybe we’d rather not deal with the staggering senses of entitlement that alcohol abuse seems to gives you. Maybe we’d like to walk down the street without that prickling sense of fear when you see the rowdy screaming gang at the end of the block – are they friendly drunks? Will they harass me? Rape me? Frighten my children? Puke on my shoes? Where’s the nearest escape route if things get out of hand?

I know some people are perfectly able to have a drink or two and still conduct their business in a sensible manner. These aren’t the people the police are trying to stop – it’s those that don’t know when to stop, don’t know how to act like human beings, don’t know that getting blinding drunk and making an ass of yourself isn’t a requirement of having fun. Do you honestly think that the stopping the sale of alcohol is because no one knows how to have a good time and we’re all lame sticks in the mud with even bigger sticks up our asses? That isn’t the POINT – the point is that some people don’t know how to have fun without going too fucking far, and EVERYONE is entitled to have fun – not just the idiots who binge drink because it’s oh-so hilarious.

Get the fuck over yourselves and grow up.