My beloved second-hand yellow and purple Fluevogs are in dire straights – the heart-shaped heels are broken and keep coming off. Clearly, my only option is to buy some brand new Fluevogs!
Actually, I really want THESE. And these. In fact, I could get them both for less than the price of a new pair of Fluevogs and then I would be the coolest girl in the universe.
How horribly tempting.
WOW – check out this bouquet of “flowers” my co-worker just got!
yum!
My performance review is in 4 short hours, and I am nervous. I am, however, dressed for success:
I hate waiting for my inevitable doom.
I’m sort of famous!
The Georgia Straight interviewed me a week or so back about the upcoming Blogger Night at the Opera. The article posted last night, and I’m quoted and sounding all silly. Check it out and bask in my faint glow of notoriety! As an added bonus, my oft-disguised last name is bared for all to see – let the stalking begin!
I’m really getting excited about Saturday’s performance. We’ve been warned that while Carmen had a scene with live cigarettes on stage, Rigoletto has nudity, suggestive scenes, a cage, and a girl who dies in a sack. How awesome is that? I absolutely cannot wait. Girls in sacks! CAGES! An opera that almost never was – Paris authorities shut down the play it was based on after the opening performance in 1832 because of the immoral themes, and the opera’s writers were debased for their “repellant immorality and obscene triviality”. I am nothing if not repellant, immoral and obscene so this is going to speak to me on so many levels.
There’s an article in today’s Vancouver Sun that shows just some of these cages I am so excited about. There are clowns in them, which is an excellent thing to put in cages.
Of the utmost importance is the fact that I’ve decided what I’m going to wear on Saturday night. I got some fishnet stockings last week that I’ve been dying to put to good use, and an obscene immoral opera performance is pretty much the best reason ever.
I still have some coupons for a free bottle of Herbal Essences Hydralicious Shampoo or Conditioner, so if you want one or have already haiku’d your way to one, please email me your snail mail address (kimli at delicious juice dot com) and I’ll send a coupon over. Contrary to the name (and my eternal disappointment), the shampoo really has nothing to do with nine-headed sea serpents – actually, it smells pretty damn good. I’m using the purple one, and it smells kind of glorious – a definite welcome change from my utilitarian-yet-charmless hair puck that does the job but doesn’t give me orgasms of any kind.
I swapped out my incredibly awesome yet nearly invisible Shure earphones for a pair of giant bright green headphones at work so people could tell I was listening to music and could not hear them calling me, but it’s not working. Do I need a neon sign or something? How can you possibly not know that these huge green things are headphones and not just a terrible fashion statement? Yeesh.
Okay, working now.
I have a Performance Review scheduled for 3pm on Friday.
This will be my first real performance review (other than the mini end-of-probation one I had last June) since 2001. I’m not *too* worried – after all, I am totally awesome – but there is still some apprehension.
I’m not up on my Bribing the Boss trends – cookies? Beer? Have we moved to straight cash yet? Money would sort of defeat the purpose as I’m angling for a substantial raise, but I still feel the need to cement a good review with underhanded trickery.
Then again, maybe I shouldn’t think too hard about getting a raise. Last time I was sure I was having the Salary Increase Discussion I was actually fired instead.
Well, fuck. Now I’m freaking out again.
I chopped all my hair off yesterday. I’m feeling a little better about the colour – turns out it wasn’t so much the drastic change I hated but the fact that I looked like hell. Now it’s short and somewhat cute and I am not startled by the black when I catch my reflection. I’d take a picture, but I’m feeling spectacularly unphotogenic today so just use your imagination.
According to some new “shock research”, women who drink more than three cups of coffee a day will get smaller boobs. I can’t decide if I should laugh at this, or go to Starbucks.
There’s something a little sad and depressing about filling out a form that asks you to “tell us something about yourself so we can get to know you”, only to have the form spit out an error when you click submit. I’m sorry my personal information isn’t good enough for you, volunteer form. I will try to be more exciting in the future so you do not look down on me and give me bright red errors saying that I’ve done you wrong.
I think I need a muffin.
Also, the conversation below the cut amused me.
When Procter & Gamble bought Clairol in 2001, one of the first things that went away was the signature “gives you orgasms!” marketing campaign of the Herbal Essence shampoo line. On one hand, I was glad – it was frankly annoying to hear fake orgasms every commercial break during prime time. The flip side, however, is that I suddenly find myself in possession of 26 bottles of Herbal Essence shampoo – and NOW I miss all those orgasms.
I will have the cleanest hair EVER, even if I have to make my own orgasms.
I am not greedy, though. I will share my orgasms. If you would like to try some fancy new Herbal Essence shampoo and you are in Canada, let me know – I will send you a coupon for a free bottle. If I had less class I would stage some sort of orgasm-related contest, but .. frankly, I just do not want to go there.
I know, write me a haiku. If you want free shampoo, write me a haiku about orgasms. First 14 entries can email me their address, and I will pop a coupon in the mail for you.
And .. go.
There’s a deep and meaningful art display in the window of a snowboard shop in West Vancouver. It seems an artist is Making a Statement with his sculpture – it’s a peace symbol, made of plastic guns and grenades.
.. except the artist didn’t place the downward stroke of the peace symbol. Instead of a peace symbol, he made the Mercedes logo. Out of plastic guns. And called it “Peace”.
He could potentially be making a multi-layered statement about cars and guns and consumerism, but it is much more hilarious to think that he plain fucked up and no one caught it.
Puzzle Quest: Galactrix is not as good as the predecessor. This is unfortunate, and makes me go “boooooo” because I was really looking forward to the sequel only to discover it’s kind of stinky. I may have to set it aside for now and tackle Dragon Quest V instead – I want to finish it before Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars comes out, and the launch date is in two short weeks. It’s a good thing I have no life whatsoever, because I have a lot of video games I need to finish.
I am attempting Rainbow Sock Tuesday again, this time without toes. The last experiment ended sort of badly – I had a terrible Tuesday, and I got really sick – but I have hopes today will be better. My socks are jolly. How can today not be excellent?
I just came to a very unsettling conclusion that does not bode well for my future.
As far as weekends go, I’ve had better – this one had far too much Crushing Disappointment for my liking.
We managed to pry ourselves out of the house for breakfast with the Gang on Saturday, but the rest of the weekend was spent in solitude. It was certainly not the plan, but I guess we just needed some down time after last week’s turmoil. I am resolved to have some Good Times this week though, and my weekend is actually looking to be pretty insane – a party on Friday, OPERA on Saturday, and brunch Sunday followed by the Lo-Fi Scooter Workshop (weather permitting).
I’m attempting my most ambitious Event Planning to date with the Scooter Workshop. Spring is coming fast and furious, and we know a lot of people who have expressed interest in buying a scooter to move around town on the cheap. Since the 6 of us have 5 different scooters between us and a lot of knowledge, I came up with a brilliant plan while I was dying at Northern Voice: we could hold a WORKSHOP!
Next Sunday after brunch, we’ll be gathering in an abandoned lot somewhere with our scooters and inviting people we know to come down to check them out. It’s pretty much the only place you’ll ever get this kind of variety, since our 6 scooters have three different manufacturers and a handful of different price points. We’ll be on hand for questions and demo rides, all in (relatively) safe pressure-free environment – no sales people, and we certainly aren’t making any money off this (although please feel free to bring us drinks). I really hope the weather cooperates, because I’m very excited about this. I love talking about scooters, I really want to increase the size of our scooter gang, and best of all – I GET TO MAKE A FLYER!
The event is up on Facebook – if you think you might be interested and are not a scary stalker or axe murderer, look me up to request an invite (or leave a comment here).
SCOOTERS!
I updated my Nintendo DS page (added a bunch of games, ranked several others, numbered the list so I could be properly horrified), then updated my Currently Playing list. I was a bit startled to note that the last time I updated the page was March 1st – exactly one year ago. I’ve played dozens of games since then, but got a little lazy with the sharing. While I am confident that you a) do not care and b) forgive me, I will still endeavour to make it up to you.
I think I’m going to have to turf the “Recently Finished” section, though. While I’m sort of sticking with my self-imposed video game diet, I finish WAY too many games to review each one. If anyone is really curious about what I think of a particular title, just ask me and I’ll wax some poetry in your general direction.
Now I’m off to return some shirts I bought that are not low cut enough for my liking (seriously), and do some groceries. I know – my life is enviable.
delicious juice dot com 