Leonidas, my 27-month-old iMac, is dead or at least very, very ill. Yesterday morning I was having some extreme performance issues (I swear this never happens, I just need a few seconds to rest, let’s cuddle instead), so I attempted to reboot as my years in technical support have taught me that seriously, rebooting fixes everything. Unfortunately, at that point it may have already been too late for my iMac – whatever was going wrong was going wrong hard, and while I could move my mouse around the screen, nothing else was responding. I wasn’t really panicked at this point; Leonidas has experienced an odd lockup or two before, so I simply leaned on the power button for a manual reset and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

My iMac will get to the screen with the Apple, but go no further. The spinning spoked wheel gear thing spins forever, and nothing else happens. I’ve tried unplugging all my peripherals, reseating the cables, resetting the PRAM, resetting the SMC, booting into safe mode (progress bar takes 45 minutes to complete; nothing happens), letting the machine cool down (it was very steamy in my Lady Cave), trying another outlet .. nothing. My Mac will not boot.

I’m out of things to try at this point. I do have the installation disc for Snow Leopard, but I’m running Lion (haven’t yet upgraded to Mountain Lion) and wasn’t sure if I could use that to attempt to boot from disc – at any rate, I don’t want to do that without first seeing if the hard drive is salvageable, because I don’t have a recent backup (I know, I know). I have an appointment this evening to drag my machine in to an Apple Store, but I don’t have Apple Care and the machine is long out of warranty. I can’t afford to replace it at the moment because I am all of the poor, and I’m trying hard not to freak out about the possibility of losing my main machine and everything on it.

I don’t have time for this. I prefer my crises to be of an easily-fixable, non-technical nature – and I really hate to say it, but if this happened on a Windows PC, I would totally know what to do. I don’t have any experience fixing the innards of malfunctioning Mac machines, so I need to get someone to make it better for me .. and I really kind of hate that.

I don’t have a choice, though.

Here’s hoping for a cheap and easy fix that leaves my machine and data intact :(

noooooooo

It’s been a very unproductive long weekend ’round these parts, mostly on account of the heat. Each year for about one week in the summer it gets kind of unbearable in Sparta; fucking with our sleep schedules and generally reducing us to piles of motionless lumps of flesh or fur. I try not to complain about it too much because a) it never lasts long and b) in the grand scheme of “summer heat”, we get off extremely easy. Still, I’m tired of sleeping. It’s too hot to put on clothes let alone go outside, so we’ve watched a lot of Olympics and also last night’s Mars Landing, which was amazing and arousing at the same time. GO SCIENCE!

We did spend most of Saturday outside at Renee’s place, celebrating her belated birthday. She’s the only one of us with occasional access to a backyard (complete with tramampoline), so we had a golly good birthday BBQ with badminton and beer and other things that start with the letter B. I made Miranda’s mango salsa, which is quickly becoming a crowd favourite and has usurped Vince Dip as the potluck dish of choice – it is delicious and summery and full of nothing but fresh local goodness. It’s fantastic with tortilla chips, even better on fresh spinach, and we are not above eating it right out of the bowl with a spoon. I may have to make some today, because it is too hot for actual cooking and also it is crazy delicious.

The upcoming week will be a short one due to today’s holiday, but it’s going to be busy nonetheless. I’m looking forward to being back in the office – I have a lot of work to do, including the start of a shiny new project and the wrap up of the first chapter of another. Plus, the office has AC. I will gladly work for AC.

i plan to be this happy about something someday. YAY SCIENCE!

I hope I never get to a point in my life where dressing professionally means applying less glitter instead of more.

don’t try this at home. or ever.

Oh, hi.

How’s it going?

I’ve been experimenting lately, with mind-bending drugs taking a bit of a break from the blog. It’s a lot less relaxing than I hoped it would be – instead of revelling in the “I don’t write unless I want to”-ness of it all, I find myself sodden with guilt and assorted panty juices. Not writing is hard. I want to write all the things, all the time. I want to share everything – and that’s sort of the other half of the problem: I’ve really got nothing to share. When I’m not sleeping, I’m working. When I’m not working, I’m naked and thinking about sleep. I’m not complaining (except for my vague Twitter complaints about micromanagement and my attempts to avoid strangling people who touch my work) – I really, really like my job. I love what I do, my co-workers are great, and stuff is fun. You know how I like fun – so yeah, this is crammed right up my alley hole.

There’s just not a lot going on beyond that, and the last thing I want to do is write post after post apologizing for the whole lot of nothing. Sure, stuff will be happening soon – I’m officially allowed to start packing for London in three weeks – but until then, I’m working and sleeping and being naked and thinking about dongs all the time.

Oh, here’s something new and completely fascinating: I worried I’m starting to lose my hearing. I’ve been poking around the internet and I think I’m going to go for a hearing test – things are always too loud or too quiet, and I absolutely can’t hear anything if there are conflicting noises layered on top. It’s beginning to freak me out – I kind of like hearing things – so I figger I should do something about it. Given my past history as a melodramatic hypochondriac, I’m pretty sure I have some form of incurable hearing cancer with a side of fatal ear pox. When I’m gone, think fondly of me and remember how I used to be able to hear once.

Okay, enough guilt updating. I have work to do – heading out to Langley again tomorrow – and then it will be long weekend times complete with BBQs, fireworks, and sunburned boobs.

You know what you need? MORE CATS.

photo by cindy hughes
high five for cats!

This is Fiji. She is a femme fatale with a secret past and glorious green eyes; fond of high fives, sensual espionage, and belly rubs. Fiji came to Katie’s Place Shelter after seeking asylum from her foreign diplomat boyfriend who had been arrested for selling secrets and imitation tuna to the Soviets, and she has decided that Canada is the perfect place to retire from her exotic past. Fiji is seeking a forever home; one where she can forget all about the danger and intrigue of her former life and instead bask in the warmth of sunshine and unconditional love. Will you be the one to take Fiji in? She’s at Katie’s Place Shelter in Maple Ridge, waiting for you with open paws and a sophisticated air.

photo by cindy hughes

This is the closest you are likely to get to James Bond:

photo by cindy hughes
keeping an eye out for zombie ninjas

This is Bit Bit. He needs a home after his previous home was destroyed in an unfortunate zombie ninja incident. Bit Bit managed to escape after valiantly saving several adorable large-eyed orphans and also a delicious pie, but sadly found himself without a place to sleep when the dust and limbs settled. Science has proven that taking Bit Bit into your heart and home will make your hair thicker and shinier, make you more attractive to the sex of your choosing, cause multiple undetectable “bank errors” in your favour, and increase your attention span. Someone once told me you are looking for all those things, so do yourself a favour and adopt Bit Bit today. He’s at Katie’s Place Shelter in Maple Ridge, being suave and fighting crime, and he needs YOU.

a plastic yellow box is no place for a mighty warrior

Over the course of the last week, I’ve unsubscribed myself from dozens of newsletters and email lists. I’ve kept far away from Etsy and deleted all my bookmarks for my favourite shopping sites, because I am done.

It’s taken me a lot longer than most people, but I am finally tired of being in debt. What started out years ago as an exercise in self-pity basically turned into a lifestyle, and with the advent of international shipping and being several clicks away from literally anything .. well, I have a lot of stuff. I do not need more stuff. I am extremely fortunate, because I don’t want or need for anything (we are far from rich, but my taste in everything except electronics tends to run towards the cheap and ridiculous)  – so there is no reason for me to scratch that shopping itch on a near-daily basis, buying anything that catches my eye. So, no more. When I’m bored I often find myself window shopping online, which inevitably turns into an impulse purchase. Instead, I’m going to put that energy to poor (but free) use; setting up silly Lego scenes or working on my erotic biography of Wilder Penfield (sample dialogue: “Doctor, I smell burnt toast!” “Shh, baby, that’s just my burning love for you” *commence plowing*).

To combat the debt, I’m turning it into a game: for every chunk of debt we pay down, we shall celebrate with Pinkberry. It’s cheap and delicious (much like myself), and a satisfactory way to celebrate my newfound fiscal responsibility without going into further debt. We all win, but especially the bank!

This entire process is undoubtedly going to take some effort. For one, it’s not like I’m never going to spend money again: I just need to remember the distinct line between want and need. I need oxygen, Diet Coke, and weapons-grade plutonium to live. I want a thousand shiny trinkets and things that go beep in the night. Until I come into several million dollars (which will happen when someone buys the rights to my life story), these things are no longer the same. I may slip up and invent loopholes from time to time – this week I spent $15 on the Humble Bundle and felt guilty about it until I decided that digital purchases did not count – but I’m getting better at saying “NO” to myself, and that’s all I can really hope for.

Also, our trip to London does not count.

Like all things, this will be an adventure. As long as I keep looking at it like a fun challenge instead of an annoying limitation, I should be able to have fun with it – and as long as there is fun, I can do anything.

Who’s up for some good old-fashioned free fun?!

luckily, being creepy as fuck is both fun AND free

I am SO TIRED that attending my first meeting this morning actually woke me up a little. That ain’t RIGHT.

Two days ago, the airline emailed me to let me know our flights to London had changed ever so slightly: instead of an 8:05pm departure we’re now leaving at 8:25, and returning at 2:55pm instead of 3:10. We’re still two months away from our trip, but if the airline has already started notifying me about changes and that my seat is terrible I figure I should be allowed to start packing. So, I have. There’s a small suitcase in my Lady Cave where I’m storing “For London” items – so far, it contains a whole lot of UK power adapters, our Oyster Cards, and a piggy bank of the leftover change I had from our last trip. I’m off to a good start, I think – I can get around the city, I will have power for my phone and laptop, and I can buy some Diet Coke. What more do I need?

Certainly not pants.

the looks of horror and intrigue are conflicting

now we need a new doctor

It seems as though the entire universe is in a bad mood today, myself included – so let’s all cheer up by looking at some beautiful cats that need homes. I can absolutely guarantee that giving a cat a much-needed home full of love will do wonders for any mood, so don’t think – just go with your heart (because if I do it, I’ll end up with 84 cats).

Rosie:

photo by cindy hughes

This here is Rosie. Don’t let her upright stance fool you; Rosie spends an equal amount of time being adorably upside down:

photo by cindy hughes

Rosie is shy at first meeting, but will quickly become your best friend. She’s a snuggler, loving attention and playtime. Rosie is full of personality, and could easily dominate other, more timid animals – so she’s probably better off being the doted-upon only cat in a stable home. Sadly, Rosie has experienced some trauma recently and as a result she’s going through some litter box issues. All she needs is a bunch of love and a little patience, and she’ll be back to her within-the-lines self in no time.

Do you have a home you can offer gorgeous Miss Rosie? She’s currently at at Katie’s Place Shelter in Maple Ridge, waiting for you. GO NOW!

Tyson:

photo by cindy hughes

Tyson is a healthy, affectionate cat with fun crinkly ears (fun fact: he’s known as a “Shelter Fold” because he has folded ears due to past ear hematomas as opposed to being a Scottish Fold cat). In addition to his neat eats, Tyson also comes installed with a mouth at no extra charge to you:

photo by cindy hughes

This lovely happy boy needs you to love him madly. If you are in love with Tyson, you should adopt him from Katie’s Place Shelter very soon because I am about to tell my co-worker who is also named Tyson and is ALSO orange all over that he needs to step up and take his kitten doppelgänger home.

Shelley:

photo by cindy hughes

Shelley, like me, would do best in a home without children. She’s a fluffy ball of love, hungry for affection and a home of her very own. Shelley is a gentle, undemanding cat with a lot to offer a family; able to entertain herself but happily accepting of attention. She’s also beautiful and SO FLUFFY:

photo by cindy hughes

Shelley is patiently waiting for you at Katie’s Place. Please give her a home today!

See more kitites who only want to be loved at Orphan Animal Pics!

KITTIES!

We Wangzilla-Pinduccis are a delicious bunch:

NOM ON ED

*bleat*

Our weekend in Victoria was actually a great time – the weather on Saturday was gorgeous, and we spent it all outside. The highlight of the afternoon was definitely the Petting Zoo at Beacon Hill Park – apparently, I am extremely delicious to baby goats. I made many friends at the zoo while fending off my dress, sweater, buttons, bag, phone, necklace, sunglasses and hair from being eaten; goats were all around me up in my business and it was awesome. One goat in particular, Wall-E, looooooved me – he would jump on my back and snorfle at my neck, and kept coming back for attention (and to eat my pieces). Eventually, he did the cutest thing ever – climbed up into my lap and FELL ASLEEP ON ME:

ignore the boobs; look at the goat

He slept like that for at least 15 minutes before I had to set him down (he was heavy and slidey), but it was hard to let him go because OMG ADORABLE. I want to love all the animals, all the time. LOVE.

Speaking of loving animals, I should have some new cats to feature that need homes – adopt them! Adopt them now! Watch this space for more heartbreaking pictures of orphaned cats.

Also, I’ve made a Big Life Decision that I will inevitably share here shortly.

Happy rainy Monday!

It’s probably psychosomatic, but coming to Victoria always makes me tired. Like, asleep at 8pm tired. It never used to be this way – these are my old stomping grounds, and I distinctly remember stomping all through the night and into the wee hours of the morning. I’m not nearly old enough to be one of Victoria’s many elderly, so there is absolutely no excuse for dozing my way through yet another visit home. Last night as I was lamenting my lack of energy, I grew angry at the apathy of it all – so I dragged Ed outside for some fresh air in the Minibator.

We ended up on Dallas Rd (as was often the case while cruising in my mother’s purloined Hyundai Pony). There were two enormous cruise ships in dock, so we stopped at Ogden Point to gawk at these floating cities (and to familiarize ourselves with where humanity will inevitably end up living when we melt all the ice caps and the oceans rise up to reclaim the land). We stopped at the Breakwater to enjoy the smells of my misspent youth, parked at Clover Point and totally made out while a creepy man in a van watched, and looked for ghosts at the Victoria Golf Club. I wanted to stop at Ross Bay Cemetery, but Ed declined so I showed him my favourite stupid prank – driving through the stretch of road through the golf course with the car’s headlights turned off. That bit of road is completely unlit, so passing through the supposedly lady-haunted valley in complete darkness is spooky as hell (if a ridiculous thing to do).

Our ride took us through Uplands to gawk at the estates, where we saw a ghost bunny. I drove us up Mt. Tolmie to look out at the city, and then I had to pee so we went back to my mom’s place. I felt much better after our nighttime drive – sure, we didn’t find ourselves at a party making out with strangers or on Douglas St loitering in front of the many 7-11s, but that’s okay. I went Outside and wasn’t asleep at 9pm, so it was a victory for me.

I am up early (it’s almost impossible to sleep here, so when I finally doze off around 4am I tend to stay asleep for a while), so I am going to take advantage of the day and go downtown to see what’s changed. Tonight we’re going out for dinner with mom, and then I plan to Go Outside again: I want to wander the Inner Harbour and Government St like a tourist. Outside! It is pretty super!