recapping spain

Posted in adventure, international kimli by

Home is the best!

We got home on Tuesday, and the cats were SO HAPPY. They wouldn’t leave our sides, which was very nice and somewhat damp. The flight home was uneventful – almost comfortable, even – and although I was still sick, I was overall pleased with just about everything.

Without further ado:

Barcelona in Bullet Points!

  • Neither our flights to or from Barcelona had USB. However, I was able to manipulate the universe in such a way that we each had double seats to ourselves for the long flights.
  • I’m still marveling at the size of Barcelona streets and sidewalks – they’re fucking huge and it’s so nice
  • THERE WERE SO MANY SCOOTERS
  • THEY PARKED ON EVERY (huge) SIDEWALK
  • SO JEALOUS
  • Our first hotel was attached to a mall, so that was pretty fun – there were plenty of food options available and a supermarket for water and no Diet Coke
  • I missed Diet Coke
  • A lot
  • I didn’t get to see quite a few things on my list because I was sick, but my favourite places I DID see were La Boqueria and La Pedrera
  • Our second (third) hotel was right off La Rambla, a popular thoroughfare in the center of town. It was pretty amazing and reasonable and I completely enjoyed being in one of those little balcony suites I had been admiring all week.
  • Not having access to laundry is a pain in the ass
  • Hotel laundry is laughably expensive
  • I have a really bad stress fracture in my left foot that made things painful – I don’t recommend it
  • My (horrible, no good, terrible) stomach flu had me spending a lot of time in bed, feeling sorry for myself – but it also gave me a lot of time to just listen. So much of Barcelona takes place on side streets and alleys, where pedestrian traffic is king. It was really nice having the prevalent background noise consist of Spanish chatter, laughter, scooters, clinking dishes, and skateboards rather than the usual trucks and honking we get at home. I could definitely live in that environment, and not miss the urban mess of Vancouver one bit.
  • I have been itchy for over a week and I don’t know why
  • Seeing Barcelona by tour bus was awesome, but a two-day pass didn’t seem necessary
  • We didn’t get to use our tickets to Sagrada Familia because they were for the day I got sick, so clearly we will need to return to Barcelona to do that
  • Park Güell, too
  • The weather was gorgeous the entire time – it only really rained on one day, and I was sick in bed anyway so I missed it
  • Everyone was dressed for winter, which was adorable in the +14-18C sunshine
  • I got a lot of weird looks for being bare legged and without a jacket/toque/scarf/mittens/boots
  • Or maybe they were just staring because I am so exotically beautiful
  • But I doubt it
  • Did I mention that the alleyways were amazing?
  • I took a lot of pictures of buildings
  • You can see them here
  • We ate patatas bravas with every meal
  • I was actually sick of them by the time we left
  • To be fair, I was actually sick at the time we left
  • Ham. Ham everywhere.
  • One of the best meals we had in Barcelona was at a vegetarian restaurant
  • I’m surprised, too
  • The Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris is a nightmare – it took us our entire layover of 2+ hours to get from our arrival gate to our departure gate
  • Drinking chocolate is amaaaaaazing
  • It was fun seeing Barcelona with other people! I love traveling with friends. I should do it more.
  • It’s SEVEN MONTHS until my next trip and that is so depressing I could cry
  • I wonder if I could go somewhere for my birthday
  • I think this should happen
  • Anyone want to adventure?

 

night time is the best time

in which my life suuuuuucks

Posted in adventure, angst, international kimli, medical anomaly by

It’s our last day in Barcelona. Instead of roaming the city, eating tapas, and being romanced by swarthy Spaniards (all of whom want to sell me a selfie stick), I am sitting in my hotel room all by myself having an epic pity party: I’ve been sick for the last 2 days with what is most assuredly the most disgusting and horrible stomach flu I’ve ever had in Spain. The only thing I can keep down is fruit and fruit-based beverages, which makes Barcelona a pretty damn convenient place to be. There’s amazing and bountiful fruit all up in this bitch (“bitch” referring to both myself and the city).

Oh good, a delightful sea breeze just blew the shutters of my hotel Juliette balcony wide open so now I can see the sunshine and gorgeous city I’m missing out on. That’s nice.

I’ll upload my photo gallery when I have a better internet connection, and share some stories when we’re home. Illness aside, I’ve had a wonderful time in Spain – we’re already talking about coming back at a time when Ed’s brain chemistry isn’t made of what my stomach is producing at this moment. That will be lovely. If you’re ever in the mood for some winter jamón, I can’t recommend Barcelona in February enough – the weather is fantastic, it’s less crowded (which is kind of scary, I can’t imagine this place in the summer), and see above re: bountiful fruit, should you come down with late-vacation rectal failure.

You’ve been lovely, Barcelona. I will return, and we will make like the Erotic Museum until we’re both dehydrated and in need of pubic grooming. Until then, I am sad and sick and lonely and sad and really kind of pathetic but damnit, I’m missing out on a third of my vacation and that fucking blows.

just me, my germs, and this marzipan bumblebee.

horizontal at last

Posted in adventure, international kimli by

That was some long-ass travelin’.

Our trip to Barcelona took us through Amsterdam, on KLM. The flight was surprisingly efficient – we departed ten minutes early, and landed almost an hour early. Ed managed to snag a couple of seats across the row from me, so we each had a luxurious 42″ or so of room to wiggle around in. I probably only slept for an hour total throughout the 9-hour flight, but by the time we landed in Amsterdam I felt much more alive than usual (even when taking the Nokia-shaped bruise I have in my right ass thanks to an armrest that was bolted down).  Still, the layover in Amsterdam was difficult because:

  • The non-UK part of Europe has Coke Light instead of Diet Coke and it’s not the same
  • The chairs were hard as fuck
  • We were tired
  • So tired
  • Zzzzz

A 4-hour layover isn’t enough time to leave the airport and explore, so we had to stay put. Eventually our flight to Barcelona was called, and two hours later we were in the enormous shiny futuristic and apocalyptically deserted mega mall they call the Barcelona Airport. There were men with guns but no customs to go through, which was weird. We gathered our bags, Ed grabbed his conference badge (I am hella jealous that he’s attending the Mobile World Conference and I’m not – I’M the mobile nerd in the family, damnit), and by 5pm local time we were in our hotel room.

Okay, poll time – have any of you ever stayed at a hotel at which you needed to insert your room key into the wall to activate the light switches?

We collapsed into our (nice but only partially furnished) room. I had to pee, so I went looking for the bathroom .. but the lights weren’t working. I tried a few other switches, and nothing – our room had no power. This was disconcerting, because I really enjoy the luxury of electricity and sort of take it for granted. After Ed confirmed my wtf, he went downstairs and said we had no power. Front desk was confused, and said they’d send someone up. They did, and an unamused lady schooled Ed in the apparently-common-knowledge-to-everyone-but-us world of room key in wall slot equals power. The lady seemed to think Ed was somehow mentally deficient for not knowing this, but we both agreed that in all our travels (we so worldly) we’d NEVER encountered a system like this. And it’s not just us – Ed met a coworker on his way back from a water run who had the same issue with the not knowing. What gives? Is this a common thing that people know about but I somehow went like 85 years without ever encountering?

I need to sleep now. Tomorrow is my first full day in Spain, and I plan to figure out the deal with the bidet. Oh, and our flight sadly did NOT have USB available, so please enjoy this letter I wrote on parchment using my own blood as ink.

i have misgivings about this journey, but our george donner claims he knows a shortcut. what's the harm in trying?

i have misgivings about this journey, but george donner claims he knows a shortcut through the mountains

good mail day

Posted in adventure by

Today was more than good mail day, it was downright excellent. Just look at all this goodness:

  • Super cute, super light shoes that are utterly delightful and will be visiting Spain with me because LOOK AT THEM:

shoes

 

Tonight: Deadpool. Tomorrow: Frantic sewing. Friday: BARCELONA! WHEE!

baggage, wine, and beer

Posted in adventure, international kimli by

We leave for Barcelona in 7 days, and I’ve barely started packing. This is unusual for me, but frankly I’m a little daunted to be packing for a place I’ve never been before. How exactly does one Spain? Heck. It is giving me anxious.

I looked online for advice on what to pack for a ten day trip, and found a lot of articles with helpful tips. However, they’re all written from the POV of a normal person with absolutely no brain issues whatsoever – “just do this and this and add an extra t-shirt – we like this designer laser-cut leather tank from Fancy Store ($495), it pairs well with the underprivileged children we use instead of carrying a handbag – and voila, ten days in the sun looking like a goddess!” That .. isn’t helpful. Neither was the article that breezily suggested bringing along 5 bras, three bottoms, five tops, three sweaters, one fancy dress, ten panties, and 2 pairs of shoes all in one carry-on. How? How is this humanly possible? I am panicking trying to figure out how to bring 3 bras, let alone 5. Clearly the people who write these articles have tiny small titties and wear puny bras made of tissue paper and string. Do you have any idea how much room 5 of my bras take up? A FUCKING LOT, OKAY. Throw in some fat girl underwear, and I need a steamer trunk just for my unmentionables.

In a fit of hopefulness that is utterly unlike me, I looked online and decided to buy a bra storage case for traveling. I didn’t think I’d be able to fit the 5+ bras it claims to fit, but thought maybe I could get a couple in there. It arrived today:

this may be the single daintiest thing i own

this may be the single daintiest thing i own

Cute, right? It seems fairly well constructed, with moulded insides for the boobie parts and a little pocket to tuck things into. Maybe this would work!

so .. no, then

so .. no, then

My naive optimism is just adorable. I can’t fit one bra in there, let alone multiples. If I squished the bras up real good, I MIGHT get two in there .. but I run the risk of ruining them and losing out on prime luggage real estate. Still, I had to try. For science. Also, does anyone with small boobs need a bra case? If not, I’m gonna use it for snacks. And Lego. Mostly Lego.

Back to the articles, then. Unfortunately, none of them address how to pack for a 10-day vacation if you wear plus-sized clothing. Any 4-5 shirts I decide to bring would take up more room than the 4-5 shirts a skinny girl might pack. It’s just plain science – even at my sluttiest, my clothes have more volume than those of my smaller brethren. Luggage allowances don’t increase just because I like cheesecake.

Complicating matters even more is the fact that I am hideously, horrendously uncomfortable in pants. I wouldn’t be caught dead in jeans and a tshirt, even halfway around the world. That means I pack dresses, which again take up more room than I’m told I need. If I decide to spend the entire trip rotating between two outfits, I might be able to get away without a checked bag .. but I don’t wanna. I want to be cute, not convenient.

I preliminarily packed last night, just to see what I’m dealing with. In the largest packing cube, I managed to squeeze in 6 dresses and two cardigans. I still need a couple more cardis and the aforementioned unmentionables, which I thought might all fit within a second large cube. Now that it’s written down, 6 dresses seems like too many –  I could probably do 4, plus whatever I wear on the plane. Oh but wait, I won’t have access to laundry. I can hand wash delicates, but dresses are another matter. Damnit!

This is a ridiculous problem to have, I know this. And while I don’t often envy those who can throw on whatever the fuck and be cute yet comfortable, right now I have a mad jealous boner of people who haven’t dressed themselves into an anxious (but oh-so-stylish) corner. I made a list last night, numbered each article of clothing I want to pack, cross-referenced each dress with the items it could be worn with, then eliminated the items that had the fewest number of matches. This is how normal people pack, right? With databases and algorithms and strategic planning sessions?

 

they fight crime

Posted in everyday kimli by

Super Lazy Sunday had the Super Bowl on, not for any sort of love of football but for the ambiance. Ed gave up after the halftime show to play Mech Warrior, and I think I fell asleep because when I woke up there was confetti everywhere and like 20 minutes worth of commercials in a row. After that, however, something called “Legends of Tomorrow” came on, and I started watching it out of curiosity.

Several things you should note at this point:

  • I thought I was watching the premiere of the show, because they made such a big deal of it being on after the Super Bowl. We don’t have cable anymore, but still get several local channels thanks to an antenna taped to the side of the wall – so commercials and current television are a bit of a mystery to me. Imagine my surprise when I eventually realized this was the 4th episode, which explained the lack of character introduction.
  • I really, really dislike the DC Universe. I am a Marvel Fangirl through and through, and anything DC-related is generally met with a giant sneer of derision because it’s all dumb. Even you, Batman. I’m tired of you.

Okay, so I’m watching what is clearly DC’s version of Agents of SHIELD until my attention wandered so I muted the TV. Ed surfaced around this point, and started asking me questions – who’s that? What’s his deal? Can I touch your butt?, etc. Based on what I know about the DCU, I tried to answer his questions: LoT clearly stars Alias Man, with the super power of nagging Token Black Kid from inside his head. That’s Superman, but he’s in disguise as millionaire playboy genius philanthropist DC Tony Stark. Over here is Prison Break 1* and 2, Blonde Bird, and Not-Rosario-Dawson, and they’re all led by a British Time Lord known as Dr. When. They went back in time to retrieve the Eye of Sauron, but were caught by the Stereotypical Soviet Science Squad. OH NO!

I think I did pretty good.

*: I kinda like Sneering Wentworth Miller. Too bad his character is a reformed bad guy who shoots a cold ray and calls himself “Captain Cold”. Classic DC character creation!

Okay, time to make popcorn.

good news, everyone

Posted in everyday kimli by

It’s an auspicious day here in Vancouver, as every single social problem – housing, hunger, drug abuse, resources for those at risk – has been solved!

At least, that’s what I assume has happened .. otherwise, why else would a church have the available funds for multiple high-profile billboards in the city, promoting themselves? Surely it means there isn’t a single thing they could spend the money on that would, as per their own missions and that of that book they follow, help those in need. And that’s great! They’ve successfully solved the housing and hunger problems in the city, so they can spend the extra money on advertising! A job well done, chaps!

.. this has been bugging me for a while. Billboards are not cheap. Wouldn’t all that money spent on not just one or two but a whole lot of giant posters be better spent actually helping people? You say you want to spread the word. What’s more effective, do you think? Huge ugly advertising along busy streets and in bus shelters, or actual shelters for those who need them? How do you compare the number of hearts or minds you might change by showing a picture versus the impact you could have by, oh I don’t know, actually doing as Jesus did and reaching out to your fellow man?

I don’t get it, and it bothers the hell out of me.

this is helping.

this is helping.

coming up milhouse

Posted in everyday kimli by

January is a terrible month for a lot of people, myself included. It’s been a little rough around these parts – Ed has some sort of Mysterious Illness that is like the heartburn equivalent to last year’s Not Asthma, and I’ve been elbow-deep in misery for a variety of Reasons, some even based in reality. However, tomorrow is the start of another month, and I’m looking to get past these winter blahs and into some Epic Adventure.

Things are looking up ’round here, though. Ed is slowly getting better thanks to some timely medication and cutting back on the intravenous drug use, and the things that were hanging over my head have taken a turn for the great, with the best possible outcome. Stuff is getting good again, and even though I don’t own holographic glitter lamé pants (I’m writing this while half-watching the NHL All-Star game), I am pretty excited about what the rest of 2016 may hold.

For the past several months, I’ve been really unhappy at my job. I didn’t have enough to do, and although I continually pestered people for work, there just wasn’t any that could be readily handed off to me. While some people may enjoy being paid to do absolutely nothing, I find it discouraging and exhausting. I like being proud of the work I do, and when there’s nothing .. well, you kind of lose any sort of passion for being awake from 9-5, Monday to Friday. Things came to a head over the last couple of weeks, and I was ready to throw the towel in and look for another job. I even posted as much on Facebook, while taking care to hide the post from people I worked with (or so I thought). As I worked on my resume and looked for things I might want to do outside the nest, I got a little cocky in my despair: I wrote an email to the VP of another team at work, and basically demanded to be put on his team to cover a bunch of things I knew needed doing. The VP talked to the CTO who talked to my boss who talked to the VP, several goats and chickens and a bag of tobacco were exchanged, and as of last Friday I am officially on a different team at work; one with things for me to do. I have to attend meetings! And DO THINGS! This pleases me greatly, because I was so fucking bored and miserable. It was nothing against my boss, he’s great – but it’s a “finding your fit” thing. It took me much longer than usual (and not for lack of trying) to find my fit, but I think we’re there now. I am looking forward to being challenged again, and maaaaaaybe doing a little less online shopping.

I went for coffee with my department’s HR rep last Thursday, and I found out I’m not nearly as clever as I thought I am – the Facebook post I made putting feelers out for another job definitely made it back to management, and apparently it freaked them all out. Certain people were told to FIX IT (meaning my despair), so when I went ahead and proposed a solution that would make me happy, it was agreed to with great speed. This makes me shuffle my feet and go “aww, shucks”, but I’m secretly tickled that people were worried I would leave. Even though I didn’t see any value in the few things I did, others apparently thought differently. That’s nice! I know I undervalue my skills a lot, but it helps a hell of a lot to get some validation that your work IS noticed, even if you feel there isn’t enough of it. That’s already started to change, though, and I’m super glad to have areas to own again. Feeling like I’m contributing and making a difference is crazy important to me, and when you get to do that with good people .. well, it makes for good times.

The last few days have been pretty great, actually. I found my son in Fallout 4, a group of us went to the Shameful Tiki Room to celebrate Renee’s new fancy job last night and we got excellently drunk (after which we successfully hunted down some delicious cake). Today, I was King of Castle Sensible for a mighty reign, I made some delicious popcorn, and John Scott scored twice. We will be debt-free in less than two weeks, we’re going to friggin’ Barcelona in 19 days, and I like my haircut. That’s some good shit, yo. Everything’s coming up Milhouse.

so sayeth your royal majesty, me

so sayeth your royal majesty, me

Milhouse

anxiety sucks

Posted in z.assorted unsorted.z by

I’m hungry, but I don’t want to eat. I feel like crying, but the tears won’t come and there’s nothing to cry about anyway. My chest is kind of tight – oh god, my chest is tight. Is this it? Am I destined to die on the couch, half dressed and surrounded by cornnuts that missed my mouth? No, that isn’t it. I’m just being silly. So what is it? What could be filling my lungs with all this dread and noise? Why am I screaming? Where did the light go? 

someone’s at the door

Posted in everyday kimli by

Does anyone remember the short-lived CBS series “American Gothic” that aired in 1995? It was creepy as hell, and to this day the phrase “someone’s at the door” gives me pee shivers of fear (instead of pee). No one I ever mention this to has any idea what I’m talking about (which is basically the story of my life), so I have to make my own fun with references. Anyway, I was having a conversation with a co-worker when he saw my phone ring and said “someone’s at the door” and then Gary Cole showed up and was all menacing at me and possibly the devil and now my day is just shot to hell. TO. HELL.

Other random thoughts for this grey, resolved Monday:

  • I’m getting real sick of your shit, Preston Garvey. I’ve got him stashed at Tenpines Bluff, and last night he TWICE was all “another settlement needs our help! there are ghouls at Tenpines Bluff, you have to save them!” and I’m all “bitch we are AT Tenpines Bluff how about you get your damn trench coat out of the mutifruit bushes and KILL THOSE GHOULS YOURSELF oh man you are so useless no wonder everyone hates the Minutemen” (I have many conversations at the television, most of which involve me mouthing off to NPCs)
  • The only thing worst than Preston and his settlements that need “our” help: the Brotherhood of Steel, flying around in their fancy helicopters that can be brought down by a mean glare and their lack of being any help whatsoever
  • I finally saw the new Star Wars on Saturday night and it was awesome. I managed to remain mostly spoiler-free before going in, so everything was a pleasant and/or heartbreaking surprise. I enjoyed the novelty of a bad guy who can take off his mask when he wants to “rap” or “get real” with people, was appropriately terrified by the impotent-with-rage ginger, think the Big Chair guy is compensating for an awful lot, and want a remote-controlled BB-8 NOW.
  • The only thing I had seen Poe in previously was this, which made things pretty funny inside my head
  • Our next adventure is in 39 days and I am excite
  • I am also homesick for London
  • Which is weird
  • The TV we ordered on Black Friday arrived on Saturday and it is big and intimidating
  • Ed: “.. we could have gone bigger”
  • Me: *cough*

Right. Back at it, then. So busy! So much to do!