Category Archives: everyday kimli

the sweetest mystery

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This past Tuesday was probably the worst day I’ve ever had at work. It started out bad and almost immediately escalated to terrible, with some embarrassing Tears of Frustration and many, many things spiralling out of control. When I wasn’t crying with rage and humiliation, I was being steamrolled in a baffling 6-hour meeting. It was a long, bad day.

When I stopped at my desk late that afternoon, there was a card addressed to me on my keyboard: inside, an unsigned, hand-written note with the nicest, most uplifting and encouraging thing anyone has ever said to me. I’m not going to share it – I want to keep it inside my heart to call upon whenever I need a reason to go on – but I wanted to say thank you. I don’t know who left me the note, but it was truly appreciated, and I hope you somehow know how very, very much it means to me.

thank you thank you thank you

thank you thank you thank you

catch them all

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Someone stole my soul on the bus this morning.

I was sitting at the end of a sideways row of seats, talking about salami online. No one was sitting next to me, and only one woman sat across the aisle, two seats down. Suddenly and without a word, she pulls out an iPad, aims it at me, and takes my picture: I know this, because she briefly turned it around so I could see myself on her screen. Then she giggled, sang “Got you!” out loud, and put her iPad away.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Did she steal my soul?

Later, when the bus was more full and she had seat mates, she pulled out the iPad again and showed the lady next to her something. I may be paranoid on account of having no soul, but they both kept looking up at me then back to the iPad as if to compare my soulless reality to the likeness now trapped on her screen.

Seriously, I’m kind of freaking out. This is weird, right? Many strange things happen to me that I consider routine, but this is totally not normal, is it? Am I an item in a scavenger hunt? A Pokemon? Is she playing Dark Cloud? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Joke’s on her, though: I took her picture right back. SO THERE.

omg wtf.

change

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If I could change one thing about myself – just one thing – it wouldn’t be my fat ass, or my disgusting body, or my broken personality, or my selfishness, or my facial scars, or my deformed feet, or my inability to feel loved, or my overall resemblance to the Michelin Man, or my evidently atrocious self-esteem .. no, if I could change just one thing about myself, it would be that thing where I CRY LIKE A FUCKING CHILD WHEN I’M ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED.

It is SO EMBARRASSING. I would love to be able to hold an adult conversation and use my mouth words to describe my feelings, instead of letting them leak out of my eyeballs. I’m not sad, I’m upset and I have a point and I would like to say these things, but BOOOO HOO HOOOO HOOOOOOOOO sob sob sob ARGH. Embarrassing. Frustrating. Annoying. Undermining.

.. and now I’m angry at myself, and totally in tears about it. :(((((((((((((((((

reality bites

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As we near the start of fall, I’m beginning to worry that I’m not going to get to go to London this year (as I have for the two years previous).

Even though I had no plans concrete cotton candy or otherwise to go to overseas this year, I’ve been quietly scheming in the back of my mind since last October, hoping that some way, somehow, I’d find a reason/the money/an excuse to go. I crossed my fingers and desperately wished that things would just sort of .. happen, but it’s almost September and no magical genie or raise or random strange happening has materialized. I’ve got no real feasible way to get to London, and that’s making my heart ache: I want to be back there so very badly I could cry. I’m drastically close to throwing caution to the wind and following my heart, even if only for a week or so .. I could do it, if I forgot about everything for a little while. I could take the cheapest of uncomfortable, no-frills, baby-packed flights and stay at a hostel or in the London equivalent of the Cecil. Hell, I could even be rom-com-style foolish and spend money I don’t have for an actual room; one with a lumpy bed and no hot water and a family of raccoons living in the closet. I could go a week without eating and live on excitement only; soaking up history and culture and things built before 1985 and not out of glass. I could do all these things.

But I probably won’t.

I don’t know when I gained a sense of responsibility, but I’m finding it incredibly inconvenient – it gets in my way and stops me from doing the things I desperately want to do: own a pug, go to London, adopt all the cats, eat nothing but tacos, travel on a whim, do crazy things for the sake of the stories I could tell. I want all of these things, but I also want a home to come back to .. so I can’t have them.

I wonder if I could use the “well, you got to go to Edmonton so now I’m gonna go to London” excuse.

I could sell all my things. I have a lot of things, and a flight to London is only $280 (plus $604 in fees).

I should get off the internet before I click buttons I shouldn’t click.

There’s still time .. this could still happen, right?

#longing

video game feels

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Did you play Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor? Did you love it, but really wish you didn’t have to play as a spider because spiders are terrifying? Are you still slightly annoyed that, after at least a half dozen play throughs since launch, you don’t actually know what the secret is?

You’re gonna want to go buy Gone Home, sit yourself in front of your computer, and play it all the way through.

I did just that this afternoon, and it was amazing. It gave me feels. It was what more games should be. It neatly wrapped things up (well, most things). It didn’t make me remember a random code I found 8 rooms ago to unlock a shed to get the wrench to open the cover of the well to find the missing puzzle piece. I loved this game.

Seriously, check it out. The voice acting is fantastic, the game tells a beautiful story, and Fullbright did an amazing job with the music, the ambiance, and the setting. I rarely recommend non-mobile games these days (Gone Home is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux) because my computer is little more than a big internet box I use to talk to strangers, but I am highly recommending this one. It’s awesome. I want to hug them all (and then revive my underground ‘zine).

Go play!

common cents

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So. The internet. You may not have noticed this, but I use the internet a lot. I am connected 24/7, and use the internet like an extension of my arm (an extension that just happens to have a great deal of porn). My internet use extends to meatspace as well: when I’m not in front of a computer, I use my phone to access any kind of information imaginable. I am one of THOSE people, and I make no apology for it: it’s just what I do.

My internetting does not stop when I travel. For this reason, I long ago signed up for Roger’s US Data Roaming Add On: for an extra $10 a month, I am charged $1 for every MB I use instead of the standard $3/MB. This sucks, but welcome to Canada where you pay more for connectivity (an intangible necessity) than you do food (seriously, I pay $215 per month for connectivity at home and on my phone, and it was an additional $100 until Ed’s phone was paid for by his work).

Recently, Rogers has updated their US Roaming Data plans. They’ve discontinued the $10/month add on, and instead will charge you $7.99 for up to 50MB of data per day the instant you use your first roaming KB. If you go over 50MB, they’ll charge you another $7.99. Many people are upset by this as they are Amish and only want to check email once a day but will have to pay $7.99 regardless if they use 1MB or 50MB, but it’s handy for those of us who aren’t 85 and refer to video games as “the Nintendos”. It’d be perfect for someone like me, because while I very well may use more than 50MB a day, it’d be unusual to go over 100 (and if I did, okay – if it happened regularly and/or I knew I was travelling to the US just to use the internet all day long, I’d make other data arrangements). $16 for a weekend of data use is reasonable (by Canadian standards).

SO. This past weekend, I was in Seattle for two days. During that time, I used 70MB of data, which should cost me $16 per the new rules. At most, it should cost $24 (assuming I used over 50MB on Day 1, and the remainder on Day 2). I can live with this.

Naturally, it’s not that easy. You see, I still pay the $10/month for a non-existent plan. Because I pay that $10/m (and have been doing so for the last 3+ years), I will be charged $1/MB .. to the tune of $70. All because I already pay more for my phone than most people. And because I was never informed that this new $7.99/MB/Day plan existed at all until I did some research on my own.

I am not happy about this. I reached out to Rogers on Twitter, and they confirmed that I’ll be charged the $70 for two days of internet use because of my existing non-existent plan. This really sucks, and is one of those things that will drive me to get a US SIM Card so I can be more in charge of my data use, as well as research alternative options so I can cancel my Rogers contract when it’s up next year. A little understanding in this situation would go a long way (and I’ll overlook the fact I’ve been paying a largely unnecessary $10/m for years), but if they’re going to stick their feet in the mud and abide by the rules instead of common sense .. well, then I’ll know where I stand as a customer.

Why don’t I live in Europe, again?

rejection

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On Thursday morning, I received word that I had been rejected by Skynet for the job I had applied for. While I told myself I didn’t really mind because it was always a super long shot, I am apparently not above lying to myself: I was actually pretty crushed (and by “pretty crushed” I mean “illogically inconsolable”). I shrugged it off for the entire workday, but later that evening I when I was unable to properly do a u-turn (long story), I burst into tears and was thoroughly convinced that I am an utter failure; a complete fraud who has no future doing anything at all and no one will ever want me ever again, even retroactively. I cried and wailed and was very glad no one but an extremely confused Ed was around to witness my pathetic display of the feels. 

In my defence, this rejection stung a lot more than others have in the past simply because I was given the “lol no” *after* I had submitted my work samples. I *like* my work (and most people think I’m really good at what I do), so being rejected after showing off was like a kick to my metaphorical balls. It made me sad – really, really sad. Pathetically sad. I was a wreck. 

Luckily, that afternoon in a huff I had decided to throw caution to the wind and demand adventure. Ed and I threw a change of underwear (and 15 device adapters) into backpacks and ran away to Seattle for the night. We hung out with our favourite Americans, saw all the things, and had some Good Times; life disappointments and endless worrying aside. We had so much fun that we’re gonna do it all over again in two weeks (we can’t get enough of our Americans), and I’m slightly more upbeat about the whole thing than I was 48 hours ago. I’m sure that will change one way or another as I either get over it/myself or be rejected for more out-of-my-league jobs, but we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it. 

I’ll post more words on jobs later, including some words about why I’m looking for work (and being utterly rejected) in the US when I still have a job that I love in Vancouver (and also what Ed thinks of all this), but for now here are some of the neat places we went this weekend:

  • Rachel’s Ginger Beer – if you love ginger beer or simply buying things in growlers, this place is awesome. They’ve got many different flavours of craft-brewed ginger beer on tap, and it’s delicious as all hell: spicy and refreshing, with a big kick. I wish we had purchased some to bring home, but we’ll be back in a couple weeks so I’ll do it then.
  • Otherworlds – A shop in Edmonds that sells steampunky things with a heavy emphasis on unrepentant Firefly worship. Every inch of every surface has amazing things to look at (I am utterly in love with the light switch covers), and if you’re any kind of nerd it’s an awesome side trip to make. 
  • EMP Museum – I love this place, to the point of buying a membership for Ed and I so we can go again and again and again. The new Fantasy exhibit is worth making a trip for, and there’s always a million things to see.
  • Cactus – Forget the Cactus Club; this place is AMAZING. Doug and Ali took us here for brunch on Saturday, and it was probably the best breakfast I’ve ever had. I want to go back and try their regular menu, because if it’s anything like their brunch offering I may never leave. SO GOOD!

Need to plan more impromptu getaways. They go a long way in keeping me sane (especially when I HAVE NO FUTURE).

dark crystal map!

vintage umbrellas!

a surefire way to get me to put out!

here are some vegetables!

purely hypothetical

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I am researching US work visas, for purely hypothetical reasons. Hypothetically, if I were to work in the United States, I would need a hypothetical employer to sponsor my hypothetical application to work for their hypothetical American company. The sponsor isn’t enough though: you also need to be armed with an arsenal of hypothetical documents proving your hypothetical qualifications AND you must fall under the list of approved hypothetical professions such as:

  • Accountant
  • Architect
  • Computer

Yeah, I got this in the hypothetical BAG. Even if they do find me lacking as a hypothetical computer, I’m still okay – further down the list is “Technical Publications Writer”. That’s me!

I’d rather be a computer, though.

If none of my hypothetical musings entertain you, how about this instead: Marks and Spencer is offering FREE shipping to Canada, the United States, Australia, and New Zealand. The site claims it’s for a limited time, but the promo has apparently been running since March 8th so do what you will with this news. And no, they generally won’t ship food. And yes, I am still desperate to be back in London. Homesickness for a place you’ve been twice is weird, yo. And I’m starting to run out of my favourite mascara and eyeliner, which can only be purchased in the UK. LIFE IS HYPOTHETICALLY HARD, even if you’re a computer.

pretty pretty pretty

#twittersilence

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Many people are talking about #twittersilence; one woman’s idea to prove a point and get her way by doing nothing at all. I personally think the idea is ludicrous – when in history has the silent treatment ever overcome anything – but contrary to what some people are saying, there ARE a few times when it is wholly appropriate to be silent/stay off Twitter. Here is a handy list for you to refer to at any time, or feel free to reach out to me at @kimli for some help:

Appropriate Times for Twitter Silence

  • During sex (apparently it’s rude to tweet during intercourse)
  • When you’re on the West Coast and you won’t see <hot TV show> for three hours and want to avoid spoilers
  • When you’re on the East Coast and have seen <hot TV show> before the rest of the country and can’t believe they did <plot twist>
  • While asleep (scheduled tweets are the first step in the terrible Rise of the Machines)
  • After you’ve died (Roger Ebert was brilliant and I loved his Twitter feed, but it is simultaneously startling and sad to see “him” continue to tweet after death)
  • During any sort of performance or viewing, be it a movie, the opera, a funeral, or a concert: believe me, the world can wait until the show is over before we see that duck-faced selfie

In all seriousness, being quiet about injustice is the worst possible way to deal with it, and exactly what “they” want. When you don’t call attention to awful behaviour, they win. Stand up. Speak out. You have a voice for a reason – never, ever simply sit back and take it.

And don’t fucking tweet during a movie, you jackass.