There’s nothing I love more than a mystery!

Last Friday night at the PNE, I found a camera under a table – a small point n’ shoot in a camera bag with an extra SD card. I held onto it as we sat, hoping the owner would come rushing back as they realized their camera had been left behind (losing things is made of suck). By the time Ed finished his plate of perogies the camera was still unclaimed, so I started digging through the case in the hopes I’d find a name or phone number on it. Finding nothing on the bag, I turned the camera on to look at the last couple of photos; thinking that maybe I’d find a face we could then search the crowd for. There were a few portraits, so Ed and I set about to look for people in some specific clothes. We wandered around (we had nothing else to do; we were waiting for friends to arrive), but didn’t see anyone resembling the people in the picture (which was to be expected given that we were at the PNE and it was full of people who all looked alike when you stare at them for long enough). I took another look at the camera data to refresh my memory, which is when I realized that the people we were looking for were standing in front of a water slide .. and there were no water slides at the PNE. We were looking for people in clothing they were probably not wearing in a place that was at some point in the past. Also, by this time more than an hour had passed since I found the camera. I thought about turning it into the Lost n’ Found, as it was the sensical thing to do .. but that was no guarantee that the camera would reach home, and common sense has never really been my thing.

So, I brought the camera home so I could do some more research. I felt pretty creepy as I was going through the photos, but I really wanted to find the camera’s owner – especially after I realized the SD card contained almost 1100 photos; most of them of family vacations. Unfortunately, I didn’t find any identifying information: all I learned was that the family had been to some really cool places, and that it’s really fucking weird to see someone else’s vacation photos of a place you’ve also been to (in this instance, San Francisco).

I was about to give up – looking through 1100 photos belonging to someone else on a tiny LCD is not an officially sanctioned Good Time – when I stumbled upon something that could be useful: graduation photos, taken this year. Aha! I From those pictures and some fast Google work, I found three things:

• An acronym
• A tribe name
• A picture of a presentation with a name on it

The acronym turned out to be the name of a high school in northern BC, and the tribe brought back two hits: a small town in Alaska, and a tribal community in BC relatively close to the school. These things turned out to be more helpful than the name, which was the equivalent of  “David Wilson” – it was very common, and impossible to wade through the thousands of results a search returned.

I did try, though. I looked through all the David Wilsons on Facebook, which was when I discovered that there are people out there who totally don’t use the internet – nothing I searched for was of any help. No Facebook, no Twitter, no blog, no public profile that I could sniff out anywhere at all. During all this, I also checked Craigslist multiple times a day to see if anyone had posted about losing a camera at the PNE; all to no avail. I don’t know how people live like this, but the proof was on my living room table: a camera with two years of family memories, and no way to give it back.

However, I am nothing if not persistent when something is bugging me. With nowhere else to turn, I located a website associated with the tribe and sent an email off to info@ explaining who I was looking for and why. I didn’t really expect a response – some random girl in Vancouver asking if you know someone who knows this person who might live near you maybe – but my wild stab in the dark was good. The person who answered my email knew of whom I was looking for, and gave me his grandmother’s phone number. SUCCESS!

This meant I was going to have to pick up the phone, but my need to see this through overrode my loathing of the phone and strangers. I called the number and left a rambling message explaining myself and asked that someone call me back. Last night, an elderly lady called me and confirmed that her son had been at the PNE on Friday and lost his camera filled with family vacation and graduation photos. She gave me his address, and today I will be shipping the camera off to the man who lost it. HOORAY! I SOLVED A MYSTERY!

Seriously, HOW do people live their lives not at all on the internet for all to find? I don’t get it, but I am pleased that my persistence and general nosiness paid off for the greater good.

I’m like a slutty Nancy Drew!

squiggly, like a boss

.. because there is a picture of a tiny kitten wearing a tiny cowboy hat on my blog:

that sound you hear is the hive mind of the internet going “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” in high-pitched unison

This is Moxie. No other words need be said, but here they are anyway: Moxie is a 3-month old kitten. She is adventurous, playful, affectionate, and is ready to be adopted into a loving home of any configuration (only cat, additional cat, full of small children, etc). Also – and this is the truly important point here – SHE IS WEARING A TINY HAT. LOOK! LOOK HOW CUTE! Oh my god!

If you are the kind of person who does not like hats (wtf get out), here is another picture of Moxie proving she can be adorable with or without things on her head:

pretty kitty!

Moxie is currently being fostered through the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association (VOKRA), about whom enough good things cannot be said. Please contact them if you wish to meet and perhaps adopt this adorable and awesome hat-wearing kitten!

If you have enough room in your heart for a pair of gorgeous cats and a strong appreciation of puns and chocolate, perhaps you would be interested in adopting this brother and sister pair:

meet furrero

and his twin sister, roche

Furrero and Roche (get it?) are twin tuxedo kittens that need to be adopted together. They are both playful and loving, alternating between naps in the sun and chasing toys around the house. Both of these kittens would be a fantastic addition to your home and fill your days with their adorable antics; antics that will inevitably drive you to take and post picture after picture on Instagram. Are you awesome enough to love Furrero and Roche as much as they need?

If you’d like to meet Moxie or Ferrero and Roche, please contact VOKRA to arrange your destiny!

All the above pictures were taken by Jackie Dives – more of her awesome animal pictures can be seen on Orphan Animal Pics!

Dear Innernet:

I owe you a minimum of one (1) blog post about the following topics:

• The PNE Mystery
• Redemption
• Kittens you should adopt
• London countdown
• Boots!

Unfortunately, I am too busy at work to write about these things at this moment, so here is a pretty picture I took this weekend JUST FOR YOU:

macro curly flower thing on top of burnaby mountain

With the exception of Friday night’s fun, I had no plans for this long weekend – but I did have a goal; one I have now failed spectacularly thanks to some faulty machinery and a universe that totally hates me.

After I discovered last Saturday that making skirts is both fun and easy, I set a goal to make at least one new ridiculous skirt for myself over Labour Day. I was all set: I found some thoroughly ridiculous fabric on Thursday night (the one bright spot in an evening that also featured abject failure and no meatballs); actually followed sewing protocol by pre-washing and drying the fabric to get shrinking out of the way, then spent an entire evening on my hands and knees; pinning patterns and cutting out skirt pieces to the totally awesome sounds of Robert Downey Jr. being Iron Man 1 and 2. Productive, and I was all set for a laid-back Sunday of sewing to loud music while Ed was out with his boyfriend.

BUT NO.

I sewed together the three skirts I had cut out, and things were going well. I had finally decided how some of the fabric was going to go together (metallics are hard to pair for some reason), and while waiting for Ed to return with pinking shears, I started the annoying process of binding the waistbands together with elastic.

Then everything started to SUCK.

My machine, as it turns out, is not capable of doing zig-zag stitches without royally fucking everything up. I fixed jam after jam and had to unclog the machine of threadballs that formed instead of a neat row of stitches. I rethreaded everything seven or eight times, because the cryhole would get all knotted up and the thread would break. I fiddled with tension and stitch styles and even tried to use a regular stitch on elastic (helpful tip: don’t ever do that), which lead to an extended bout of swearing and stitch ripping. I even took things a step backwards, and went super slowly on a piece of scrap fabric to see if I was the one causing the thread jams, all to no avail: my machine will not do anything other than a simple straight stitch without catastrophic results.

Instead of throwing things across the room like I wanted, I calmly packed up my sewing supplies and went into another room to play TWETY on my iPad until I fell asleep. Now I am awake (someone was cooking bacon) and researching new sewing machines, and sad because I both wasted a Sunday and failed my Labour Day goal. Tomorrow I will have to spend the day outside to make up for it, and have some extra fun because today was a total bust. I hate failing at things, and I want fun new skirts. BOO.

Yesterday was awesome for many reasons, but the very best part of all had to be our bus ride home. Did you know:

• Poligrip isn’t just used to secure dentures, it can also be used to apply fangs
• Werewolves have fangs on the top AND bottom, but wearing all four would make it difficult to speak
• A forward-facing camera on a Blackberry makes an excellent reflective surface in which to apply your fangs on the bus
• It is difficult to find a werewolf-worthy jacket
• An updated version of Teen Wolf is a thing
• New Teen Wolf plays lacrosse (?!) instead of basketball
• Putting together a Teen Wolf lacrosse outfit would be so rad
• Because apparently people cosplay as Teen Wolf
• .. in public

Two young guys (whom I have dubbed Teen Wolf and Lil’ Duke Nukem, respectively) on our bus ride home yesterday were textbook Loud Bus Nerds, and they were awesome. Loud Bus Nerds are one of my favourite things ever – they are almost always guys, they are very proud and eerily knowledgable about whatever they’re into, and EVERYONE AROUND THEM MUST KNOW IT. This is what differs Loud Bus Nerds from, say, me – I am a nerd who knows more about Gen1 Transformers trivia circa 1986 than I do my own family medical history, but I’m not loud about it in public on the bus. I spent the entire ride listening to their very loud conversation, and I learned all the things outlined above including that the shirt Teen Wolf was wearing was an homage to Season 2 Episode 1 but the buttons weren’t quite right so he had to alter it a little, and that he is very much in high demand this Halloween for .. well, he didn’t say WHY he was in high demand, but I have to assume it had something to do with his detailed New Teen Wolf knowledge and ability to wear light blue contact lenses.

this jacket: hard to find

I spent much of the bus ride trying very hard not to laugh while tweeting choice bits of the conversation it was impossible not to hear. Lil’ Duke Nukem was the quieter of the two, but he was equally enthusiastic about the whole notion of Teen Wolf cosplay (and, I can only assume, was in costume as well: Duke Nukem imagined as the protagonist of a Charles Atlas fitness ad). The two waxed poetry on a whole bunch of topics, even getting philosophical about life and the hardships facing a guy pretending to be a TV werewolf in this day and age. Basically, the entire 30 minute ride can be summed up thusly:

So. Awesome.

The rest of the evening was less hilarious but a great deal of fun: I managed to drag out a whole gaggle of friends to the PNE, where we walked forever, ate a surprisingly minimal amount of terrible fair food, purchased items As Seen on TV, and did the Star Trek Exhibit. We caved and purchased a set of pictures taken on various Star Trek props, because it’s incredibly rare to get a photo of most of the people I love in one place – and if that place just happens to be the bridge of the NCC-1701, it’s just fucking delicious icing on a cake made of unicorn wishes.

The night ended with Heather, Shan and I on the Tilt-a-Whirl, where our whirls were throughly tilted. I think the ride operator may have been messing with us, because that ride lasted FOREVER and it was so much fun – Shan and I have a long-standing Whirl tradition, and it was a fine continuation of our pact. All in all, a very enjoyable evening spent with very enjoyable company: A++++, would buy again.

ed is attempting to psyche out the competition (it didn’t work)

love this ride, but no one will go on with me (and more importantly I didn’t want to stand in line or pay $11 to go on)

“Could I please get a glass of ice?”

“Sure okay yes yes”

*wanders off*

*comes back 5 minutes later with a plastic knife*

“Um .. thank you, but I really wanted a glass of ice.”

“oh okay okay ice yes yes”

*wanders off*

*several minutes pass*

*the universe begins anew*

*strolls on back; hands me a cup of water with three ice cubes floating in it*

“… thanks?”

*head explodes*

I am starting to have a sneaking suspicion that the Mayans didn’t mean the world as we think of was going to end in 2012, but rather the world – as it relates to each of us personally – will come crashing down on our heads.

Especially if you’re a woman.

If I was an American, I would be fucking terrified of the things coming out of the mouths of those who endeavour to be in charge. Every day, more and more articles are coming out that highlight the truly horrific things that people – usually men, who are among the last people anyone should be interviewing for their opinions on rape and women’s health – not only think, but proudly share out loud to anyone within earshot. “It’s not that hard to avoid being raped!” Really? Oh, okay. Everyone can stop worrying, then.

Sadly, the idiocy doesn’t seem to stop at the border – just this morning news out of Toronto is that all women need to do to avoid being raped is to “stop dressing like whores”. The last time some genius came out with the same idea – you know, blame women for being raped instead of blaming the men who do the raping – the Slut Walk was born. Some people didn’t learn a thing, though. We’re not just treading water, we’re fucking going back in time.

It’s 2012. How is it possible that women are losing ground instead of gaining it?

Out of nowhere, one of my favourite games of all time landed out the App Store last night for iPhone and iPad.

there’s no universal build?! WHY WAS I EVEN BORN

I had heard nothing about The World Ends With You being released on iOS until yesterday morning, so imagine my surprise when I further learned that the release date was that NIGHT. Things never happen that quickly in my world, but it was true: last night at 8pm I handed over a wad of money (in app terms, anything that costs more than $0.99 can be declared a wad) and was soon downloading one of the best games ever made for the DS; to be played on my iPad.

The future is here, and it sounds AWESOME.

I spent much of yesterday squealing on Twitter about the upcoming release (when I wasn’t being a raging bitch, but that’s a story for another time), and last night I finally (after, like, 7 hours of waiting) got my game on. I had actually been thinking about playing TWEWY on my DS again, but I didn’t want to overwrite my current, 99.8% complete game so I never really got much further than “that would sure be fun”. Until now! Now I can submerge myself in as much JRPG as I can handle, on a shiny new screen! I am so excited. They added some new features, but the game is the same AND all music is intact (something not even the still-unreleased Jet Grind Radio could promise), plus wireless play between friends and Twitter aspects. HOORAY!

So, why aren’t I telling you to go out and get this app right now or else?

Well, two reasons:

The World Ends With You is an AWESOME GAME but it is not for everyone. It is complicated. It is weird. You will want to strangle the main character. You will likely want to give up in disgust several times. I know when I first played it I was really annoyed by it (something I went through again last night; Neku is a little bitch), but I kept at it and soon I was enjoying then fucking loving the game. It’s terribly Japanese, and if you’re not familiar with the JRPG genre, it might scare you away.

Also, it’s not just a wad of money – it’s several wads, plus one of your lesser-used limbs.

Being a Square Enix game, the app does not cost the usual $0.99. It’s not $1.99, or even $4.99. Ed took a guess at $7.99, and even that was really off: the iPhone version is $17.99, and the iPad version is $19.99. There is no universal build, and Squeenix apps do not go on sale. In this crazy new world of angry birds and apps that drop to a sale price of “free” all the time, that’s a huge price to pay.

That being said, the DS version of the game was (and likely still is; it’s almost impossible to find used) $45. I often wonder how game developers can afford to survive when they sell their products for $1, which is why I go out of my way to encourage people to buy the games I truly think deserve some extra love. If a big developer like Square Enix wants to port their well-loved games over to a medium with an enormous audience, I don’t mind paying the price (TWEWY prices are in line with some of the Final Fantasy games that have been released on iOS). It’s not like I buy $20 apps every day (in fact, this is my first), and I REALLY love this game – it’s well worth it to me to pay the money to be able to play it again, all refreshed and new with added content and updated graphics.

ENOUGH INTERNET! I need to go buy a lace bonnet to increase my attack in the Shibuya District!

If ever there was a time for MORE KITTENS, it would be on a Monday after an exceptionally cranky Sunday. Today there are extra kittens, because I didn’t post any last week while I was knee-deep in om and pretending to be highly organized – but this week it is GAME CAT ON! I even picked out the cutest, most adoptable cats in all the world to entice you with warm kitteny-goodness. There’s a long weekend coming up, and what better way to celebrate Labour Day than to open your heart and home to some soft fuzzy purring love? You can even drink beer while doing it! It’s the best of all possible worlds!

arizona is guaranteed to be more welcoming and less crazy than his namesake US state

Arizona is a super friendly grey-and-white stripy kitten, full of fun and curiosity. He loves cuddling, especially when sleepy (which, if you haven’t experienced a sleepy kitten purring drowsily in your ear, is an excellent reason to be alive). Arizona would love to be adopted with one of his brothers, but would also do fine on his own. He’s got all his shots, is house-trained and neutered, so he’s ready to go – adopt Arizona today!

george has a flavour!

Fall is coming, and orange is a good fall colour. Meet George O’Mally; a great big orange-and-white ball of fun. He’s still a kitten, but a big one (that probably won’t grow to Hobbz proportions) that loves a good time. George has been around small children and is great with them, so if you’re into that whole “having kids” thing then George would be a wonderful addition to your home. He loves to play and explore, but is also very snuggly with a fondness for laps and falling asleep in the crook of your neck. George is very social and would do well in homes with other pets!

fyi tora is a cat and not a japanese war movie

Tora is a medium-sized adult male who looks like a bit of a bruiser but is secretly a bit of a diva. He is outgoing, friendly, and LOVES attention – but he still gets along very well with other animals, even if they’re distracting attention from him. Tora is gorgeous, easy-going cat who wants nothing more than someone (or a family of someones) to shower him with love and all the attention he could ever want. Adopt Tora today, and make your home more awesome just by having him around!

this chin was made for scratching, and that’s just what you’ll do

Avery needs you, and he needs you NOW. He’s a shy little creamsicle who is nervous around people, and needs some special love and attention to ease him into a new home. If you’re a loving, patient individual with a soft spot for tiny adorable kittens, then please consider adopting Avery if for no other reason than to save him:

HELP ME

LOOK AT THE NAILS ON THAT WOMAN! I am terrified she’s going to puncture poor tiny Avery, who is obviously thinking the same thing! Won’t you save him? Let Avery into your heart and home, and save him from a cruel, manicured fate!

hipster kitty grooms his goatee nightly

Last but by no means least, we have the lovely Torez. He’s a free spirited kitten with lovely markings and an great attitude, and would make your home an exciting den of adorable activity. Like the others (it’s apparently Boy Kitten Day today), Torez is housetrained, has had all his shots, and is neutered. He needs someone to love him unconditionally, and will reciprocate in kind – and I dare you to have a bad day with kitten love in your face on a regular basis. You can’t. That’s just plain scientific fact.

All the kittens featured today were photographed by Cindy Hughes, and are currently at Home Finders Animal Rescue Society. Please contact them if you’d like to meet one of these awesome cats, and hopefully find yourself a friend for life who wants nothing more than love and to lay on all your clothes.

KITTENS!

I HAVE SKIRTED!

Today I made use of my birthday present from Shan and Heather and attended a skirt-making class at Spool of Thread. Look at my skirt!

skirt!

“But wait”, you’re likely thinking. “That skirt looks .. normal. Are you feeling okay? Is this a science experiment? Did someone dare you to make something boring for once? Who ARE you?”

It’s okay! The skirt looks boring from a distance, but actually has not one but TWO SECRETS:

shiny shiny shiny shiny!

The fabric looks beige, but it’s actually a gold linen. It’s crazy shiny up close, and wearing the skirt is kind of like wearing a disco ball. Also, because I had to be fancy and because bias tape is the greatest thing ever, I edged the skirt in olive green for contrast instead of just hemming it (I may have zero confidence in my ability to cut a straight line, and bias tape hides all my crooked sins quite nicely and also looks great).

But wait! There’s more!

The skirt is friggin’ reversible:

thaaaaaaaat’s more like it

The other side of the skirt is this crazy Japanese fabric I’ve had for a while and was holding on to for the perfect project. I purposefully made the inside shorter so the edged linen shows underneath, because see above re: fancy. The skirt fits perfectly, and looks awesome if I do say so myself. Hooray! Successful skirt making is successful and also easy!

all of the colours!

I may be planning a trip to the fabric store as early as tomorrow to start a second skirt, because having two reversible skirts in London is four days worth of clothing and it is SO COOL to make things I can actually wear instead of just carry on my shoulder. YAY! Awesome birthday present was super fun! Thanks, Shan and Heather! :D

I started this morning out incredibly grumpy – not really because of one particular thing, but I was in a Foul Friday Mood.

Then work made it all better!

I’ve been largely AFK from everything for the past couple days; doing workshop stuff at a client’s office. I was really nervous about the whole thing because they were MY meetings – I have promoted myself to Supreme Workshop Facilitator and Master of All that Exists at work, and this 2-day session was my first outing of Being in Charge. For the last 56 hours or so I was either concentrating really hard on Doing Things, or being at home passed the fuck out: concentrating that hard took a lot out of me, and at the end of both days I came home and promptly collapsed in a quivering puddle of anxiety and headaches. Luckily, everything went really well but that didn’t stop me from waking up on the angry side of Friday, and I was all kinds of stormy on my way into the office this morning.

It’s three hours later, and I’ve been in all the meetings (including a long distance trek for Team Coffee). Normally that would increase my Angry Quotient, but the meetings were all good – I knocked Being in Charge out of the fucking park, and my team (which included my boss) and the client are all happy. Hooray! Then, when my meetings were finally done, I discovered there was leftover pasta in the Secret Fridges from yesterday’s office lunch that we missed due to being offsite at meetings (where, to be fair, we were fed a delicious lunch anyway that also included bacon). FREE PASTA! HAPPY TEAM AND CLIENTS! PAYDAY! Okay, maybe this Friday isn’t so bad after all. I even found the favourite lipstick I thought I lost, so things are looking up all over the place.

This is a stupid post, but it will make the little voice in the back of my head that is nagging me for not posting shut up for a day or two, at which point I should have other things to say that aren’t “I’m busy” “I’m cranky” “zzzZZz”.