I need a costume!

I’ve been invited to a New Year’s Eve party with a very specific theme: come dressed as a character from the Whedonverse. It has to be a character created for a Whedon production, so taking the easy way out and dressing like an Avenger or Beatrice is against the rules. Even with the restriction, the options are vast and overwhelming: SO MANY OPTIONS. What’s a girl to do?

Because I am complicated, I naturally want to go as obscure as possible. The more I need to explain my costume, the better. Random character seen in the background of episode 9 of Firefly? An extra fleeing from the battle between Spike and Xin Rong? Bring it. No one will get it but me, and I’m okay with that. A small part of me wants to go all out and put together an amazing costume, but honestly I don’t have the time or money (um, or skill) to make that work, so I’ll settle for utterly random and extra nerdy. With that in mind, what should my costume be?! I’m leaning towards being the Asian background dancer holding the yellow shirt when they got the mustard out, but that’s a little too no-effort and I think I can do better. Or maybe not, which is why I’m asking the internet to think for me. Help me decide!

Big Things are going on right now. Costume parties are a merry distraction!

Too fucking grumpy to internet.

Here is a picture to pass the time:

lights are pretty.

I’ve always wanted to be ambidextrous. In addition to winning bar bets at all the bars I’d inevitably go to if I were ambidextrous, I’d be able to fulfill my ONE TRUE DREAM:

Painting the nails on my right hand.

Right now, I’m rocking an amazing manicure on my left hand only. I bribed myself with a Julep subscription in an attempt to keep from biting my nails, and so far it seems to be working: I get shiny new colours once a month or so, and I’ve yet to fall back into my disgusting (yet comforting) habits. My left hand is delightfully fall-coloured (mono polish is for amateurs), but my right is stark and naked because I am tragically bad at left. It looks a little funny (and is so tempting to gnaw on), but I’m okay with that and also stop staring at my hand you jerk.

I desperately want new nerd toys, but I don’t really need anything. I’m going in circles trying to justify ridiculous purchases to myself, and it’s not working. I am sad and also can’t run a bunch of games I want to play WHAT’S UP WITH THAT.

My first world problems are particularly ridiculous today.

.. but they still count as an update!

dancing girls dance for you

Today Ed and I had to teach my mother how to use the DVD player. My mother doesn’t know what a “play” button looks like; doesn’t understand the concept of “pause”. It was .. a trying experience. Ed eventually wrote out instructions for her, but we’re not confident – in fact, I think the movie she watched today will likely be the only one she ever views.

I know I often make light of the fact that my mother is not at all technically savvy, but it’s incredibly frustrating and worrisome that she is THAT unable to cope with something so commonplace. When the Great Machine takes over, what will become of her? Will she be tossed aside by our new overlords? Or will she be our saviour, defeating technology with shelled walnuts and cauliflower in the omelettes?

Darkness is coming.

My mother has this weird detector thing plugged in next to the plywood board we sleep on. It’s huge, and covers the only outlet anywhere near us – so we unplugged it for phone charging. Seems logical, right? Whatever the thing detects, the universe won’t implode if it’s undetectable for an evening.

That was the plan, which never seems to match up with my reality. The box doesn’t seem to detect anything except being unplugged, at which point it SCREAMS LKE A FUCKING BANSHEE. So, my mother has a device that alerts her loudly when it’s unplugged. And that’s it. Don’t touch the mystery device, or it will FREAK THE FUCK OUT. And it’s bottom heavy. It falls out of the socket if you look at it funny, and then BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP with no way to turn it off (except to plug it back in) or even mute the fucking thing.

What is this, and who the fuck would invent such a terrible device? All I want to do is charge my phone. Stop screaming at me.

On the plus side, my mother got screens for her windows and I was able to open one last night to make it slightly less hot than the fires of hell in here. I actually slept! That was nice.

I’m going outside now, where there are no walnuts under the bed.