gone

There’s two where there should be three.

There were three where there should have been four.

The house is too quiet. Less fluffy. And my heart hurts.

We lost Cheddar today. A trip to the vet yesterday revealed advanced feline leukemia, a likely tumour on her liver, and a thyroid problem. At 16, there was nothing we could do. She was in pain, but refused to show it even to the end – purring and happy to see us. We had to say goodbye, and it was so hard.

Cheddar was with us for 14 wonderful years, and remains the best kidnapping decision I’ve ever made. Everyone who ever met her loved her, and she loved them all in return.

I hope we did right by you, Cheddar. You are so, so loved.

cheddar1

smoked cheddar cheese
the happiest, least photogenic cat that ever was

fifty shades of bentall 5

Well, this is terribly awkward: they’re filming the 50 Shades of Grey movie at the building where I work.

not shown: two-dimensional characters with major issues

not shown: two-dimensional characters with having feelings

Sam and I went to the office on Sunday, to sneak in an 8-foot tall hot pink Christmas tree for Business Reasons. When we arrived, the downtown core was teeming with film crews as multiple products jostled each other for space – and lucky us, we discovered that Bentall 5 had been rebranded with handcuffs and silk ties and moist mommy porn:

and after the creepy stilted spanking .. the awkward oral sex!

and after the creepy spanking .. the awkward oral sex!

Things could be worse, I suppose – from what I remember of the books, none of the sloppy sex takes place in the office building. Still, I plan on wiping down all surfaces I use. There may be .. residue.

is that an ass print i see?

is that an ass print i see?

While 50 Shades was filming at our building, Continuum was filming across the street. We got fake rain and people in business suits, THEY got cop cars and SWAT guys with plastic guns:

spoiler: they're from the future

spoiler: they’re from the future, where security guards don’t wear bright yellow

Around the corner, another production was filming by the Vancouver Club. Not sure what that one was, but it appears that the business epicentre of Vancouver turns into one giant film set on weekends. I don’t normally visit the office outside regular hours, but I was glad to see so much going on .. and hey, it’s not like they’re filming sex scenes at my desk. Or drinking my Diet Coke. Both of those things are a HARD LIMIT (see what I did there).

how sweet it is

Last Thursday night, I managed to do something I’ve wanted to experience since I was around 6 years old: I had maple taffy!

When I was a tiny Kimli, I was entranced by the Little House books and read the series over and over again. In Little House in the Big Woods, the family attended a sugaring party, where sap was collected from maple trees and turned into sugar to be used throughout the year. As part of the festivities, Laura and the rest of the children ate candy that they had made outside: maple syrup was poured over snow and somehow turned into delicious sticky fun times. As a small child who loved candy and fun times, this seemed like an incredible idea and one that I needed to try for myself, immediately. For science.

Unfortunately, I was a small child growing up in Victoria BC, which has one of the mildest climates in Canada. Any year in which we got snow was a HUGE DEAL, and a “cold day” was one that hovered around -3C. I also didn’t understand the difference between maple syrup and the syrup was had in the cupboard that came in the lady-shaped plastic bottle, so I was very confused and disappointed when I valiantly poured syrup out onto the meagre pile of dirty ice I scraped together and it didn’t turn into sticky toffee candy. I ate it anyway – I was not one to waste anything that tasted like sugar – but I never understood why it didn’t work for me when it did for the girls in the book. Did the book lie? I was sad.

Every winter I think back to my failed candy experiments and wonder what could have been. To cope, I decided that maple taffy was clearly something only available to people living in Wisconsin in the mid-1800s. I honestly didn’t realize that sugaring was an actual thing that still happened in Modern Times, and that making candy out of maple syrup was a common winter activity for virtually every school kid in Canada east of Alberta. I missed out, big time.

On Thursday evening, a group of us went to the Vancouver Christmas Market. It’s a relatively yearly tradition for Vancouver, but this was my first ever visit because I am slow at going out and Doing Things. While we were there, people enjoyed mulled wine and waffles and pitchy singing, and I took a million pictures of lights because that is my favourite thing ever. Also, I went to the Sugar Shack and finally got to experience fresh maple taffy made on snow, and it. was. awesome.

If this stupid snow sticks around, I’m gonna try making some at home. I understand now that Aunt Jemima will not suffice, and that it has to be balls-ass cold in order for it to work .. but I think I can make that happen. I’ll just hang out in our hallways for a while.

Today my dad would have been 99 years old. Growing up in Montreal a million years ago, I can pretty much guarantee that he would have experienced maple taffy as a child. If only my tiny self was smart enough to have asked him about it, I probably could have avoided years of disappointment (or at least redirected it into other areas of my life). Happy birthday, dad .. I still miss you.

an example of disappointment: ed wouldn't stand under this sign and pose for a photo.

an example of disappointment: ed wouldn’t stand under this sign and pose for a photo because he is edenezer scrooge. 

 

 

epic rita rocks

Looking for something to do on this ridiculously cold Saturday*?

Band Stars

Band Stars

iOS Only (sorry Androids)
Genre: Band Management Sim
Price: Free

I have no idea why I hadn’t heard about this game before it dropped – well, two days after it dropped; I’ve been busy – but it’s a great little title from the people that brought you Jetpack Joyride, Fruit Ninja, Age of Zombies, and Monster Dash (all of which are must-have games for iOS). It reminds me of my beloved Kairosoft games in that you train attributes, hire band members, record music, and mix random genres to see what happens .. but it feels all new and is super fun times. Also, free. I’ve got a up-and-coming band called Epic Rita, and we specialize in Bluegrass Electronica with a punk lead singer. If you’re looking for something to do this weekend that involves nothing more than sitting on your couch under a warm blanket, grab this game and play it while you’re waiting for your superheroes in Marvel Puzzle Quest to heal themselves.

*: How cold is it? It’s so cold that I’m dressed appropriately for the weather, for the first time in at least 5 years. Common sense: I hate using it.

for science

Never let it be said that I am not willing to take one for the team:

holiday pie!

holiday pie!

This is Holiday Pie. It is available at select McDonald’s in the US, apparently. In Canada, we do not have such a thing.

Holiday Pie, according to the McDonald’s website, is “Creamy smooth, vanilla custard nestled in a flaky, buttery crust glazed with sugar and topped with rainbow sprinkles.” Served hot, it is obviously a delectable taste sensation. How could I pass up the opportunity to get into the holiday spirit once and for all by ingesting hot custard pie?

It looked and smelled like an exploded Pop Tart, tasted like eating a hot, chunky Boston Creme donut, and had the mouth-feel of an egg tart from Chinatown.

It was not something I would recommend, or try again. Once was enough.

Still, if I had to choose .. I’d rather eat the Festive US Holiday Pie than the Festive Canadian Holiday Pie, which I haven’t even been able to bring myself to try (it’s After Eight-flavoured. Yeah, hot mint creme is a fantastic idea. Thumbs up!). Even for science, I choose my battles wisely.

I have to be up in less than 5 hours to catch a variety of flights back home. Please don’t lose my luggage again, Westjet. I have laundry to do.

Holiday Pie!

oops, title.

After an uncomfortable evening and a day filled with worrying that I smell bad, I’m happy to report that my luggage finally showed up this afternoon. The contents may have shifted during flight, but everything was intact (that is, sloppily folded and crammed into corners) and unmolested. Since returning to my hotel early this evening, I’ve had a luxurious shower, enjoyed a pair of clean socks, and thought briefly about burning the clothes I wore yesterday and today but reconsidered because I really like my octopus cardigan even if I don’t want to look at it right now. My devices are charged, I have a large supply of Diet Coke and ice cubes within reach, and all my internets are working. Things are good. And only in America can someone go from washing their panties in a hotel sink to the stock market floor within half a day. THANKS OBAMA!

Now that I’m clean and full of meat and no longer as grumpy as I was, Chicago is really neat. I wish I had more of an opportunity to wander around in daylight, but I’m here doing Important Business Things and not for the Seeing of the Sights. Still, when I went to feed this evening, I walked around the area for a bit before the lure of a quiet hotel room with internet access (um, and new nail polish) won the battle. I’m hoping to make my way to THE BEAN tomorrow evening, and then I fly home (hopefully with all my luggage this time – I’m looking at you, Westjet) stupid early Wednesday morning. Chicago may very well be a place I endeavour to visit again – the architecture alone is making me sigh with happy.

I can’t help but feel that someone should have told them this building went up crooked, though:

this building is slightly askew.

this building is slightly askew.

very bad things

I had a big long post written up, but this would be much better suited to point form so here you go:

  • Westjet forgot to put my luggage on the plane
  • In addition to my clothing and toiletries, my suitcase contained all the AV equipment we need for tomorrow’s meeting
  • .. and my medication
  • Also my laptop charger
  • My US mobile credits expired
  • And the airport didn’t have free wifi
  • So I had to buy wifi in order to top up my T-Mobile account so I’d have data access
  • The system was borked: my payment registered, but I couldn’t get online
  • Sam and Ed were frantically calling airlines on my behalf, trying to get some answers
  • Ed got nowhere
  • Sam was told that Westjet miraculously just tripped over my luggage in Toronto, and they’d try to get it to me before I left Chicago
  • Ed tried to verify this info, and got nowhere – as far as the Westjet he called is concerned, they have no idea where my bag is
  • So, there’s that
  • I finally made it to the hotel
  • Wi-fi isn’t working
  • There’s a vending machine on my floor
  • It only takes $1 bills, of which I only have one .. and drinks are $1.50
  • I’ve got one US quarter
  • The machine won’t take Canadian change
  • Also, it’s a Pepsi machine
  • Fuck my fucking life
  • I’m going to cry myself to sleep now, while I wait for the vertigo and brain zaps to start
  • I hate everything
  • But especially Westjet
  • And Saturday Night Kimli, who actually thought to herself “you shouldn’t put your meds in your suitcase, put them in your carry on” but decided against it because logic would apparently jinx things and look where the fuck I am now
  • Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

two minutes for traveling

It’s times like these that I thank a wide selection of deities from across the universe that my mother, during one of our many heartfelt mother-daughter talks, shared this advice with me:

“Watch your drink, because Americans are good at the sex.”

Still as true today as it was on that warm spring day back in 1999, when I told my mother I had to travel to Cincinnati for work. “Watch your drink”, she said. I must have looked confused, because she immediately explained: “because Americans are good at the sex.”

How many times has this advice saved me? A hundred times? A thousand? It could be a thousand. I am around Americans a lot; all of whom are constantly eyeballing my drink so they can have sex with it. But they can’t. Because I watch my drink, like my mother taught me to. Thanks, mom!

On Sunday morning, I’m flying to Chicago via Toronto for Business Stuff. I haven’t been on a business trip since 2001 (unless you count going to Langley, which I clearly do not), and I’m a little worried that things have changed since then: what if I do meetings wrong? What if there are new steps I haven’t memorized, or if someone offers me a drink that I have not watched? I won’t know what to do! I wasn’t worried about this trip before, but now I’m freaking out a little. I’m rusty with people skills. I’m off-putting and weird. And what’s in Chicago? Do they even HAVE Diet Coke there?! Is it too late to stay home?

.. I just realized that although I laugh at my mom’s advice, I DO watch my drink all the time: I carry a reusable cup around with me everywhere, and supply my own drinks and ice. I claim it’s because I don’t trust that the world will provide me with Diet Coke when I want it, but what if I’m subliminally doing what my mother said?? No one can poison my drink or flop their wiener around in it if I’m the only one with access to my cup, and only a fool would get between me and my Diet Coke. Oh my god – I took my mother’s advice. EVERYBODY PANIC! THE WORLD IS OBVIOUSLY ENDING!

Apocalypse aside, how do you Chicago?

dress me in obscurity

I need a costume!

I’ve been invited to a New Year’s Eve party with a very specific theme: come dressed as a character from the Whedonverse. It has to be a character created for a Whedon production, so taking the easy way out and dressing like an Avenger or Beatrice is against the rules. Even with the restriction, the options are vast and overwhelming: SO MANY OPTIONS. What’s a girl to do?

Because I am complicated, I naturally want to go as obscure as possible. The more I need to explain my costume, the better. Random character seen in the background of episode 9 of Firefly? An extra fleeing from the battle between Spike and Xin Rong? Bring it. No one will get it but me, and I’m okay with that. A small part of me wants to go all out and put together an amazing costume, but honestly I don’t have the time or money (um, or skill) to make that work, so I’ll settle for utterly random and extra nerdy. With that in mind, what should my costume be?! I’m leaning towards being the Asian background dancer holding the yellow shirt when they got the mustard out, but that’s a little too no-effort and I think I can do better. Or maybe not, which is why I’m asking the internet to think for me. Help me decide!

Big Things are going on right now. Costume parties are a merry distraction!

she thought she’d never see again, until she was given the gift of hope

I’m not used to accepting defeat when it comes to computers. I often make things happen even if all logic and documentation tell me otherwise, like that time I got XP running on a Vista-only machine or when I steamrolled my way through OSX 10.4 with no admin password. I’m good at tinkering. I eventually make things go.

Unfortunately, I seem to have stumbled upon something I can’t force my way around: using my old iMac as an external display via TDM. Even though everything I read said “this will not work”, I thought I could somehow convince it otherwise. After all, my computer wasn’t aware that it was missing the necessary ports and if I just told it to believe, surely things would work out in the end. Surely!

Oh but no. Regardless of how hard I wish and how much fairy dust I sprinkle on things, I absolutely cannot use my late-2009 21.5″ iMac in TDM. I can still use the Samsung monitor as a second display, so I won’t be stuck in 1993 .. but what to do with my old iMac? I don’t really need three Macs, but I won’t get much for it if I sell it. Apparently there are some not-great-but-adequate display solutions I can look into, or .. I can install Windows 7 on it, and use it as a real live gaming machine.

Suddenly, I am very excited about the possibilities and it’s all thanks to Catherine, who gave me the aforementioned Gift of Hope.

HOORAY! COMPU-TINKERING! Seriously, this excites me. I love going both ways!

*: by “see” I meant “see content on two monitors”. You’ve been Upworthy’d!