i’ll be in my bunk

Ed and I spent New Year’s Eve on the outskirts of Seattle, at the new (as of around noon that day) home of Doug and Ali (official name: Sparkle Castle). The party had a Whedon theme, and everyone came through:

from Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

  • Cheerleader Buffy
  • Halloween Anya
  • Dark Willow
  • Oz
  • Cheerleader Cordelia
  • Giles

from Angel:

from Firefly:

from Dr. Horrible:

  • Dr. Horrible
  • Captain Hammer
  • the Pink Pummeler
  • Penny

from Cabin in the Woods:

from Dollhouse:

  • Dr. Saunders
  • Various Dolls

There wasn’t a single duplicate costume or character, and it was SO MUCH FUN. Doug and Ali always throw amazing parties, but this one was all that and more. It was an excellent way to ring in 2014!

I’m on vacation until Monday, so I’m getting away from the computer. I still need to do a 2013 recap (complete with pinpointing the EXACT DATE my year went to complete and utter shit), but right now there is no food in our house so it’s time to do groceries. Here’s to a grand 2014 for everyone!

i solemnly swear i am up to no good

i solemnly swear i am up to no good

go away, 2013

Is there a word – perhaps a German word – for that thing where, less than two hours after starting your first real vacation of 2013, you realize you’ve caught your husband’s cold and that’s why you’ve been feeling so wretched all day?

I’m saying that word right now.

Get the fuck out, 2013. I hope the door gives you a concussion on your way out.

thanks, nerf

At work, people frequently engage in Nerf battles. I’ve always wanted to join in their reindeer games, but I couldn’t because I am a girl and Nerf guns are for boys only. Luckily, Ed was paying attention this year and for Christmas, got me these:

it’s pink, like my vagina!

The guns (one for me and one for my BFF) come with pink and teal darts, so I know it’s okay for me to use them. Now I can play games with the boys! Hopefully they’ll go easy on me, because I’m just a GIRL!

I shot a pink dart towards the hallway to show Ed I could be fierce and warrior-like with my purple tramp stamped gun. The dart hit the wall and bounced back, landing .. in the kitchen sink. Which was full of water and dirty dishes.

Message received, Nerf: I’ll get back into the kitchen where I belong.

pie.

It’s a bit early, but who can possibly sit still when there’s data entry to do and numbers to calculate?!

i was so good this year!

i was so good this year!

These numbers are a significant improvement over 2012 ( for which the grand total was $606.24). I know the year isn’t over yet – I suppose in the next week I could go hog wild and buy all the apps ever – but I’m fairly certain this number will stick.

Let’s manipulate some more data:

CAvUSAs you can see, I’m still relying on my US iTunes account almost a third of the time. It’s dumb, but it’s also cheaper: Canada taxes apps (but not music), whereas my US account is Oregon-based so everything is tax free. The year’s worth of tax came out to $27.12, which could have been an additional 27 apps or songs (give or take a few). Or, you know, that many more shameful IAPs. Shut up: sometimes you just aren’t levelling up quickly enough, and you need to buy cans of energy or hero points or a faster elevator.

In all, it was a calm year for iTunes spending. Next year, I’ll try to get it down even further, because what is a new year without a ridiculous challenge you’ll ignore mid-January?

Merry Christmas Eve, y’all.

 

all is bright

On Saturday, Ed and I went to the Winter Solstice Lantern Festival at the Vancouver Chinese Gardens. A few years ago I went to the festival by accident, and had always wanted to go again but I never remember until it’s too late. This year I decided I would not forget again, so I added it to my calendar in October. Success: we lanterned!

lights!

Taking pictures of lights at night is one of my FAVOURITE THINGS EVER, so I was pretty giddy on Saturday and also wet because it was pouring.

one day i want my house to look like this

There were a lot of people there, but everyone was in good spirits. I even managed to not punch anyone (although I really wanted to because some people are obnoxiously oblivious of their surroundings), because that would be not at all in the spirit of the season.

yaletown glistening moistly in the background

I love the Lantern Festival. By the time Ed and I left, I was soaked through and freezing and still basking in the afterglow of remembering the event as happening. Going Outside! It is Good Times!

Forgive the weird angle of this picture: people were crowding around it, and this was the only shot I could get. The lantern was amazing, and made to celebrate the upcoming Year of the Horse:

forgive the weird angle - people were crowding the horse and this was all i could get

There are many festive light events going on around town, and I want to go to all of them. Before the end of the year, I’m going to the Aquarium, the lights in Stanley Park, Van Dusen Gardens, and anything else I can think of, even if I have to go by myself. This will be a continuing trend in 2014 .. I’m tired of missing out on things because no one will come with me and I don’t want to go alone. 2014 is the year I will Embrace the Alone. Hopefully it won’t be as sad and depressing as it sounds.

There are a zillion more pictures on my Flickr stream, or you can check out my Instagram where I will be posting some as the fancy strikes for the next while.

Hooray for lights!

changing it up

christmassy!

christmassy!

Normal Christmas trees are just so .. regular. We already have a tree in our living room year ’round, so instead of adding an additional tree (more than one tree is gauche), we decorated the Ridiculous LED  Tree with festive baubles and disco balls. Voila! Instant holiday spirit!

For the first time ever, I’m actually excited about a gift I’m giving my mother. Every year I wrack my brain trying to think of a suitable present – something that says “I mostly forgive you for all the abuse but you’re still crazy and visiting you is exhausting”, but is actually useful instead of serving to further clutter up her dank basement cave. I usually give her pyjamas and chocolate. Neither of those are all that exciting, but she likes dressing in layers and doesn’t actually have diabetes so it works well enough. I did buy her some particularly fuzzy PJs last month, but had been wrestling with what I could give her that would satisfy ME – let’s face it; she wouldn’t care one way or another but a small part of me still wishes for a Hallmark Family and all the trimmings and so I try to give people meaningful presents you could film a TV commercial around. I was browsing terrible music on Amazon and seconds away from ordering up something completely forgettable when inspiration struck me like delicious pie: mom doesn’t need more stuff. She’s never needed more stuff.

Instead of giving my mother things for Christmas, I’m taking over her phone bill payments. I called her up and asked for her Telus account number – she didn’t think to ask me why – and set up an online account, redirecting the bills to my email address and changing her pre-authorized payment information to mine. Starting in January, she won’t have a phone bill to pay. As a widow on a fixed pension, I’m guessing she could use the extra money a lot more than a DVD or another pair of slippers .. even if she spends the money on lottery tickets (which was the only thing she actually asked for, in addition to insisting that Ed and I also buy some lottery tickets because “you never know”). I don’t need to know. It’s not a lot to Ed or I, but I think it’ll really help her out and that pleases me. Appropriate (if distressingly practical) gifting! Hooray!

I will celebrate my excellent idea with lunch! I am hungry.

exhausted

This week has been one of the roughest I can remember in recent times. I’m glad it’s Friday, but that’s really a very small comfort in the face of all that’s gone down – it just means there’s more time to sit around and cry.

Everything in our lives has been overshadowed by our sorrow at losing Cheddar, but there’ve been Significant Happenings that we’re struggling to deal with at this time:

  • Ed started a new job on Monday, which is awesome .. but overwhelming. In addition to the standard new job nervousness, he’s working from home for the first time ever. It would be a huge adjustment for anyone, but home is where Cheddar’s absence is most keenly felt – it’s hard not to look around for her or expect her to appear at your elbow patiently waiting for you to notice her.
  • While dealing with a new job, a new environment, the loss of the happiest cat in the universe, and the stress of learning a new industry, Ed’s slow transformation into some sort of Flukeman has once again picked up speed. His throat has been bothering him on and off since May, and a baseball team full of doctors have all said “pfft it’s nothing”. This “nothing” is causing him heaps of anxiety on top of everything else going on, and it fucking sucks so today I got Hulk Mad and demanded he get results or I’d drag his developing-gills ass to the ER tonight after work. He’s got a referral to an ENT specialist, so I am Hulk Sated. For now.
  • I had my Employee Review this week. It went better than I expected, but I hate these things.
  • Motherfuckin’ cramps, man. I have GOT to get my IUD dealt with, but I am too busy being stressed out and sad. How do women deal with these each month? Apparently I’ve been very spoiled for the past 5+ years.

In the grand scheme of the universe, it’s not THAT much. I feel bad for letting everything get to me, but I can only cope with so much at once before I start to come apart at the seams.

Definitely not feeling any holiday spirit this year.

gone

There’s two where there should be three.

There were three where there should have been four.

The house is too quiet. Less fluffy. And my heart hurts.

We lost Cheddar today. A trip to the vet yesterday revealed advanced feline leukemia, a likely tumour on her liver, and a thyroid problem. At 16, there was nothing we could do. She was in pain, but refused to show it even to the end – purring and happy to see us. We had to say goodbye, and it was so hard.

Cheddar was with us for 14 wonderful years, and remains the best kidnapping decision I’ve ever made. Everyone who ever met her loved her, and she loved them all in return.

I hope we did right by you, Cheddar. You are so, so loved.

cheddar1

smoked cheddar cheese
the happiest, least photogenic cat that ever was

fifty shades of bentall 5

Well, this is terribly awkward: they’re filming the 50 Shades of Grey movie at the building where I work.

not shown: two-dimensional characters with major issues

not shown: two-dimensional characters with having feelings

Sam and I went to the office on Sunday, to sneak in an 8-foot tall hot pink Christmas tree for Business Reasons. When we arrived, the downtown core was teeming with film crews as multiple products jostled each other for space – and lucky us, we discovered that Bentall 5 had been rebranded with handcuffs and silk ties and moist mommy porn:

and after the creepy stilted spanking .. the awkward oral sex!

and after the creepy spanking .. the awkward oral sex!

Things could be worse, I suppose – from what I remember of the books, none of the sloppy sex takes place in the office building. Still, I plan on wiping down all surfaces I use. There may be .. residue.

is that an ass print i see?

is that an ass print i see?

While 50 Shades was filming at our building, Continuum was filming across the street. We got fake rain and people in business suits, THEY got cop cars and SWAT guys with plastic guns:

spoiler: they're from the future

spoiler: they’re from the future, where security guards don’t wear bright yellow

Around the corner, another production was filming by the Vancouver Club. Not sure what that one was, but it appears that the business epicentre of Vancouver turns into one giant film set on weekends. I don’t normally visit the office outside regular hours, but I was glad to see so much going on .. and hey, it’s not like they’re filming sex scenes at my desk. Or drinking my Diet Coke. Both of those things are a HARD LIMIT (see what I did there).

how sweet it is

Last Thursday night, I managed to do something I’ve wanted to experience since I was around 6 years old: I had maple taffy!

When I was a tiny Kimli, I was entranced by the Little House books and read the series over and over again. In Little House in the Big Woods, the family attended a sugaring party, where sap was collected from maple trees and turned into sugar to be used throughout the year. As part of the festivities, Laura and the rest of the children ate candy that they had made outside: maple syrup was poured over snow and somehow turned into delicious sticky fun times. As a small child who loved candy and fun times, this seemed like an incredible idea and one that I needed to try for myself, immediately. For science.

Unfortunately, I was a small child growing up in Victoria BC, which has one of the mildest climates in Canada. Any year in which we got snow was a HUGE DEAL, and a “cold day” was one that hovered around -3C. I also didn’t understand the difference between maple syrup and the syrup was had in the cupboard that came in the lady-shaped plastic bottle, so I was very confused and disappointed when I valiantly poured syrup out onto the meagre pile of dirty ice I scraped together and it didn’t turn into sticky toffee candy. I ate it anyway – I was not one to waste anything that tasted like sugar – but I never understood why it didn’t work for me when it did for the girls in the book. Did the book lie? I was sad.

Every winter I think back to my failed candy experiments and wonder what could have been. To cope, I decided that maple taffy was clearly something only available to people living in Wisconsin in the mid-1800s. I honestly didn’t realize that sugaring was an actual thing that still happened in Modern Times, and that making candy out of maple syrup was a common winter activity for virtually every school kid in Canada east of Alberta. I missed out, big time.

On Thursday evening, a group of us went to the Vancouver Christmas Market. It’s a relatively yearly tradition for Vancouver, but this was my first ever visit because I am slow at going out and Doing Things. While we were there, people enjoyed mulled wine and waffles and pitchy singing, and I took a million pictures of lights because that is my favourite thing ever. Also, I went to the Sugar Shack and finally got to experience fresh maple taffy made on snow, and it. was. awesome.

If this stupid snow sticks around, I’m gonna try making some at home. I understand now that Aunt Jemima will not suffice, and that it has to be balls-ass cold in order for it to work .. but I think I can make that happen. I’ll just hang out in our hallways for a while.

Today my dad would have been 99 years old. Growing up in Montreal a million years ago, I can pretty much guarantee that he would have experienced maple taffy as a child. If only my tiny self was smart enough to have asked him about it, I probably could have avoided years of disappointment (or at least redirected it into other areas of my life). Happy birthday, dad .. I still miss you.

an example of disappointment: ed wouldn't stand under this sign and pose for a photo.

an example of disappointment: ed wouldn’t stand under this sign and pose for a photo because he is edenezer scrooge.