Category Archives: everyday kimli

epic rita rocks

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Looking for something to do on this ridiculously cold Saturday*?

Band Stars

Band Stars

iOS Only (sorry Androids)
Genre: Band Management Sim
Price: Free

I have no idea why I hadn’t heard about this game before it dropped – well, two days after it dropped; I’ve been busy – but it’s a great little title from the people that brought you Jetpack Joyride, Fruit Ninja, Age of Zombies, and Monster Dash (all of which are must-have games for iOS). It reminds me of my beloved Kairosoft games in that you train attributes, hire band members, record music, and mix random genres to see what happens .. but it feels all new and is super fun times. Also, free. I’ve got a up-and-coming band called Epic Rita, and we specialize in Bluegrass Electronica with a punk lead singer. If you’re looking for something to do this weekend that involves nothing more than sitting on your couch under a warm blanket, grab this game and play it while you’re waiting for your superheroes in Marvel Puzzle Quest to heal themselves.

*: How cold is it? It’s so cold that I’m dressed appropriately for the weather, for the first time in at least 5 years. Common sense: I hate using it.

for science

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Never let it be said that I am not willing to take one for the team:

holiday pie!

holiday pie!

This is Holiday Pie. It is available at select McDonald’s in the US, apparently. In Canada, we do not have such a thing.

Holiday Pie, according to the McDonald’s website, is “Creamy smooth, vanilla custard nestled in a flaky, buttery crust glazed with sugar and topped with rainbow sprinkles.” Served hot, it is obviously a delectable taste sensation. How could I pass up the opportunity to get into the holiday spirit once and for all by ingesting hot custard pie?

It looked and smelled like an exploded Pop Tart, tasted like eating a hot, chunky Boston Creme donut, and had the mouth-feel of an egg tart from Chinatown.

It was not something I would recommend, or try again. Once was enough.

Still, if I had to choose .. I’d rather eat the Festive US Holiday Pie than the Festive Canadian Holiday Pie, which I haven’t even been able to bring myself to try (it’s After Eight-flavoured. Yeah, hot mint creme is a fantastic idea. Thumbs up!). Even for science, I choose my battles wisely.

I have to be up in less than 5 hours to catch a variety of flights back home. Please don’t lose my luggage again, Westjet. I have laundry to do.

Holiday Pie!

oops, title.

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After an uncomfortable evening and a day filled with worrying that I smell bad, I’m happy to report that my luggage finally showed up this afternoon. The contents may have shifted during flight, but everything was intact (that is, sloppily folded and crammed into corners) and unmolested. Since returning to my hotel early this evening, I’ve had a luxurious shower, enjoyed a pair of clean socks, and thought briefly about burning the clothes I wore yesterday and today but reconsidered because I really like my octopus cardigan even if I don’t want to look at it right now. My devices are charged, I have a large supply of Diet Coke and ice cubes within reach, and all my internets are working. Things are good. And only in America can someone go from washing their panties in a hotel sink to the stock market floor within half a day. THANKS OBAMA!

Now that I’m clean and full of meat and no longer as grumpy as I was, Chicago is really neat. I wish I had more of an opportunity to wander around in daylight, but I’m here doing Important Business Things and not for the Seeing of the Sights. Still, when I went to feed this evening, I walked around the area for a bit before the lure of a quiet hotel room with internet access (um, and new nail polish) won the battle. I’m hoping to make my way to THE BEAN tomorrow evening, and then I fly home (hopefully with all my luggage this time – I’m looking at you, Westjet) stupid early Wednesday morning. Chicago may very well be a place I endeavour to visit again – the architecture alone is making me sigh with happy.

I can’t help but feel that someone should have told them this building went up crooked, though:

this building is slightly askew.

this building is slightly askew.

very bad things

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I had a big long post written up, but this would be much better suited to point form so here you go:

  • Westjet forgot to put my luggage on the plane
  • In addition to my clothing and toiletries, my suitcase contained all the AV equipment we need for tomorrow’s meeting
  • .. and my medication
  • Also my laptop charger
  • My US mobile credits expired
  • And the airport didn’t have free wifi
  • So I had to buy wifi in order to top up my T-Mobile account so I’d have data access
  • The system was borked: my payment registered, but I couldn’t get online
  • Sam and Ed were frantically calling airlines on my behalf, trying to get some answers
  • Ed got nowhere
  • Sam was told that Westjet miraculously just tripped over my luggage in Toronto, and they’d try to get it to me before I left Chicago
  • Ed tried to verify this info, and got nowhere – as far as the Westjet he called is concerned, they have no idea where my bag is
  • So, there’s that
  • I finally made it to the hotel
  • Wi-fi isn’t working
  • There’s a vending machine on my floor
  • It only takes $1 bills, of which I only have one .. and drinks are $1.50
  • I’ve got one US quarter
  • The machine won’t take Canadian change
  • Also, it’s a Pepsi machine
  • Fuck my fucking life
  • I’m going to cry myself to sleep now, while I wait for the vertigo and brain zaps to start
  • I hate everything
  • But especially Westjet
  • And Saturday Night Kimli, who actually thought to herself “you shouldn’t put your meds in your suitcase, put them in your carry on” but decided against it because logic would apparently jinx things and look where the fuck I am now
  • Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

two minutes for traveling

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It’s times like these that I thank a wide selection of deities from across the universe that my mother, during one of our many heartfelt mother-daughter talks, shared this advice with me:

“Watch your drink, because Americans are good at the sex.”

Still as true today as it was on that warm spring day back in 1999, when I told my mother I had to travel to Cincinnati for work. “Watch your drink”, she said. I must have looked confused, because she immediately explained: “because Americans are good at the sex.”

How many times has this advice saved me? A hundred times? A thousand? It could be a thousand. I am around Americans a lot; all of whom are constantly eyeballing my drink so they can have sex with it. But they can’t. Because I watch my drink, like my mother taught me to. Thanks, mom!

On Sunday morning, I’m flying to Chicago via Toronto for Business Stuff. I haven’t been on a business trip since 2001 (unless you count going to Langley, which I clearly do not), and I’m a little worried that things have changed since then: what if I do meetings wrong? What if there are new steps I haven’t memorized, or if someone offers me a drink that I have not watched? I won’t know what to do! I wasn’t worried about this trip before, but now I’m freaking out a little. I’m rusty with people skills. I’m off-putting and weird. And what’s in Chicago? Do they even HAVE Diet Coke there?! Is it too late to stay home?

.. I just realized that although I laugh at my mom’s advice, I DO watch my drink all the time: I carry a reusable cup around with me everywhere, and supply my own drinks and ice. I claim it’s because I don’t trust that the world will provide me with Diet Coke when I want it, but what if I’m subliminally doing what my mother said?? No one can poison my drink or flop their wiener around in it if I’m the only one with access to my cup, and only a fool would get between me and my Diet Coke. Oh my god – I took my mother’s advice. EVERYBODY PANIC! THE WORLD IS OBVIOUSLY ENDING!

Apocalypse aside, how do you Chicago?

dress me in obscurity

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I need a costume!

I’ve been invited to a New Year’s Eve party with a very specific theme: come dressed as a character from the Whedonverse. It has to be a character created for a Whedon production, so taking the easy way out and dressing like an Avenger or Beatrice is against the rules. Even with the restriction, the options are vast and overwhelming: SO MANY OPTIONS. What’s a girl to do?

Because I am complicated, I naturally want to go as obscure as possible. The more I need to explain my costume, the better. Random character seen in the background of episode 9 of Firefly? An extra fleeing from the battle between Spike and Xin Rong? Bring it. No one will get it but me, and I’m okay with that. A small part of me wants to go all out and put together an amazing costume, but honestly I don’t have the time or money (um, or skill) to make that work, so I’ll settle for utterly random and extra nerdy. With that in mind, what should my costume be?! I’m leaning towards being the Asian background dancer holding the yellow shirt when they got the mustard out, but that’s a little too no-effort and I think I can do better. Or maybe not, which is why I’m asking the internet to think for me. Help me decide!

Big Things are going on right now. Costume parties are a merry distraction!

she thought she’d never see again, until she was given the gift of hope

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I’m not used to accepting defeat when it comes to computers. I often make things happen even if all logic and documentation tell me otherwise, like that time I got XP running on a Vista-only machine or when I steamrolled my way through OSX 10.4 with no admin password. I’m good at tinkering. I eventually make things go.

Unfortunately, I seem to have stumbled upon something I can’t force my way around: using my old iMac as an external display via TDM. Even though everything I read said “this will not work”, I thought I could somehow convince it otherwise. After all, my computer wasn’t aware that it was missing the necessary ports and if I just told it to believe, surely things would work out in the end. Surely!

Oh but no. Regardless of how hard I wish and how much fairy dust I sprinkle on things, I absolutely cannot use my late-2009 21.5″ iMac in TDM. I can still use the Samsung monitor as a second display, so I won’t be stuck in 1993 .. but what to do with my old iMac? I don’t really need three Macs, but I won’t get much for it if I sell it. Apparently there are some not-great-but-adequate display solutions I can look into, or .. I can install Windows 7 on it, and use it as a real live gaming machine.

Suddenly, I am very excited about the possibilities and it’s all thanks to Catherine, who gave me the aforementioned Gift of Hope.

HOORAY! COMPU-TINKERING! Seriously, this excites me. I love going both ways!

*: by “see” I meant “see content on two monitors”. You’ve been Upworthy’d!

what’s my name

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This is one of the few things that can completely paralyze me with indecision and a monumental fear of judgement:

if it's not FUNNY people will think LESSER of me

if it’s not FUNNY people will JUDGE ME

Nothing dries my creativity up faster than something needing to be named. I have paused in front of screens like this for more collective time than I ever dare admit; all for an inability to a) pick a name, b) come up with something suitably amusing, c) settle for the boring default. It’s a problem: you have no idea how long it took me to name my phone. If I were to ever be saddled with the naming of a live creature, it would likely turn 15 before I decided on what to call it (while second guessing this utterly inconsequential decision every step of the way).

I got a new computer last night: a 27″ iMac that is the size of a planet. I am hoping to use my old 21.5″ iMac as a second monitor via TDM (which will always mean team deathmatch to me but apparently also can stand for target display mode), but right now it is being a jealous bitch and refusing to Bluetooth properly. In between fighting with Leonidas (my old iMac; so named because our house is named Sparta only because I watched 300 the night before we moved in) and upgrading the OS on my new machine, I did what anyone would do in this ridiculous first world situation: I put tiny crows on the top of my old machine.

caw! no bluetooth for you! caw!

caw! no bluetooth for you! caw!

I need to stop rearranging my desk and get myself presentable: I need to go outside for a cable and also more Diet Coke and perhaps some Bluetooth that isn’t giving me ass marbles.

defeat

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The following things have soundly defeated me this week:

  • Pants

Earlier this year I splurged on a ridiculously expensive pair of jeans, which I then hemmed. Both of these things are unheard of: jeans are little more than blue pants, and I never hem things (preferring to trip over myself with every second step and also sweep floors). I was against the very notion, but I felt that maybe (probably) some day I would find myself in a peril that could only be resolved by my covered shins so I reluctantly outfitted myself appropriately. Unfortunately, the jeans I bought turned out to have a faulty zipper: it wouldn’t stay up. I used a key ring to keep myself relatively decent by looping it over the button, but this past weekend the zipper failed me entirely. It fell apart on my way to Victoria, and could not be fixed with any amount of hammer use. Luckily I had only planned to wear pants on the way there, but it was still awkward for the 3+ hours I had to walk around with my fly gaping open. Normally I’d write the pants off as a loss, but they were really fucking expensive so I took them in to a tailor for an emergency zipperectomy. See, this is why no one should ever wear pants: they are full of betrayal and also are stupid.

  • Apple and Disney

I like supporting dev studios if I enjoy the fuck out of their apps. This past weekend, I tried to make an in-app purchase of some game currency. I had a sketchy connection all over the place, so I didn’t think anything of it when the purchase didn’t go through: I just tried again later. Unfortunately, the purchase DID go through the first time .. at least, financially. I was charged $4.99 twice, but only received one set of the currency. No problem – I’ll just contact Apple and explain the mistake, right? Oh, but no. See, this happened before with an album purchase that went through twice. Apple reversed the charge (who would buy an album twice in the span of 25 seconds) then .. but because they did, that was my one freebie reversal and they won’t do it this time: I’m SOL. Well, that sucks. I reached out to Disney, but they’ve ignored my issue entirely. I know it’s only $5, but it’s the principle of the thing: you charged me, and I didn’t get the item. Hell, I’d be happy even if they gave me the purchase in the app .. but since they won’t answer me at all, I’m bitter and complaining about it on the internet.

  • Work

Work is busy. I am busy. I am only writing right now because I’m ignoring my lunch. This isn’t a complaint – I like being busy – but it has direct correlation to my next defeat:

  • NaBloPoMo

I am out. I wasn’t able to update yesterday (that TV wasn’t going to watch itself), so I failed in the pointless endeavour to write a blog post every day in November. Truthfully, I wasn’t feeling it – I’d much rather post real content when I feel like it, instead of rambling nonsense* to meet a quota. I do not feel guilty about failing NaBloPoMo.

*: Yes I’m aware that my “real content” is still rambling nonsense: shut up.

  • My Better Judgement

I got my wrist slapped at work yesterday for Instagramming something that was a big no-no. If I had given any thought to it whatsoever I would have realized it was a Bad Idea, but that didn’t happen so I merrily posted the picture. It was almost immediately deleted, but in the minute or so that it was up, one of the half-dozen people that saw it included my boss. Oops. Bad Kimli.

  • Doors

I’ve walked into three doors today. While a lesser person would think that perhaps THEY had failed the DOORS, I see it from the other side: the doors failed ME, for not opening magically when I needed to get through. Who cares if the door was locked and I hadn’t scanned my ID to get in? It should know better. Doesn’t the door know WHO I AM?

  • Not getting the D

Someone slipped me the D at work. Scandalous!

As an aside, this post is the 2500th post I’ve made on Delicious Juice Dot Com since switching to WordPress in late 2006. Congratulations, me! That is a metric shit ton of words! Tonight I will celebrate with frozen yogurt.